Every relationship inevitably hits a “cold spell.” No, we’re not talking about cooler weather conditions sparked by the “La Niña” effect. We’re talking about those ruts in a relationship when — physically as well as emotionally — things become monotonous and routine. You know, those moments when the only spark that remains comes from the disposable lighter you keep around to light the barbecue.
Fortunately, there are ways to spice up your relationship. Most require nothing more than a little effort. So, put away the remote, get rid of that book that you’ve been reading in bed and get ready to spice things up.
1. Spicy Texts
Anticipation can be quite exhilarating. Sending spicy texts to your partner throughout the day can definitely titillate and create anticipation. By the time you see each other later in the day the seeds for a little raunchy fun should have already fermented and the both of you should be ready for some “germination” of your own.
For those couples up for some more “sizzling” use of technology, no need to stop at spicy texts — give sexting a try. A great way to heat things up fast is to sext while you’re both in the same room. That way, once temperatures reach boiling point you can easily transition to something more physical.
Those of you who prefer something a little more “old school,” dare we suggest some good old fashioned phone sex with your partner.
2. Sexy Card or Board game
Playing a sexy card game or board game is a very effective way to remove the monotony and put the both of you in a frisky mood. You can find many such games available for purchase online or you can create one yourself.
3. Visit an Adult Store Together
Visiting an adult store together can add some erotic thrills to any afternoon. Whether you just “window shop” or actually buy a few things, the experience itself is enough to get the juices flowing.
4. Roll the Dice With a Little Role-Play
The naughty nurse and the raunchy butler, the studly superhero and sexy sidekick — the possibilities for role-play are endless. They all, however, share one thing in common — role playing is an excellent way to spice things up.
Keep in mind that role-playing doesn’t require having to go out and purchase costumes and “accessories” — although that really makes things interesting. You can role play just as easily with nothing more than a creative fantasy that you and your partner conjured up together.
5. Lunchtime Quickie
It’s easy for couples to fall into a routine for everything that they do together — including their sex life. Breaking up that routine every now and then can pay off huge dividends. Meeting up at lunchtime for a quickie is daring and carefree — just what is needed to stoke the fire in any relationship.
6. Go Public
This particular tip may not be for everybody, but for the more daring among you, why not? Being flirtatious in public with your partner, making out in the park, getting frisky in the car, getting “handsy” in the movie theater — for some couples, the rush of being “amorous” in public provides an infusion of adrenaline that easily translates into some sizzle at home later. Just remember, keep things PG-13 while in public — save the other stuff for when you get home.
7. A Couple That Sweats Together…
Something that you and your partner can do that will not only spice things up but is also good for your health, is to exercise together. Yes, getting sweaty together while exercising can easily lead to getting sweaty together in other ways.
Exercise releases dopamine and endorphins, both of which increase sex drive. Obviously, you should pick your exercise routine wisely in order to generate the desired result. Mutual leg lunges, partner-supplied resistance routines, sit-ups (with your partner holding your feet) — all are examples of intimate exercises that you can do together.
For all of you “super studs” out there, the mirror push-up or the weighted push-up are two sure-fire ways to make your partner swoon over your herculean strength. The first example involves the man lying on the ground holding the woman over him by the hands and with her pelvis resting on his feet. He then pushes her up and down with his arms. The second example involves the woman placing herself on the man’s back while he’s in a traditional push-up position. He then proceeds to do some push-ups carrying their combined weight.
8. Watch Porn Together
Again, this tip might not be for every couple. Some may find it vulgar, others may find it exhilarating. It is important to note, however, that many couples do find watching a dirty movie together to be just what they need to get their engines running.
9. Create a Sex Bucket List
Sit down together and create a sex bucket list — a list of sexually-oriented things that you’d both like to try. This can include everything from different positions, places, fantasies, etc. The process of creating such a list will usually result in one or two of the items being “checked off” before the first day is even over. As far as the remaining items are concerned, well, they will give you something to look forward to in the days and weeks ahead.
10. Pump Up the Volume
Several studies indicate that strongly audible sessions of intimacy result in intensified satisfaction for couples. In other words, loud sex is great. So, every now and then, drop the inhibitions — the both of you — and let loose of those vocal chords, Talk dirty, grunt, moan, yell — remember, both men and women are turned on by sounds.
If you live in an apartment and the neighbors are a concern, a night in a hotel will easily solve that and provide you with the benefit of room service to boot!
— Don’t Forget the Follow Through —
No matter how you spice things up in your relationship, don’t forget to follow through. Keeping the passion flames going requires being constantly vigilant. Never take your partner or relationship for granted. Yes, the pressures of daily life often get in the way, but always set some time aside — be it once a week, or once a month — to spice things up!