I’ve been a member of a couple of dating sites for a few months now. In that time, I’ve had my share of good and bad experiences. Currently, I’ve been involved in an online relationship with an attractive young lady for the past couple of weeks. We converse online and she seems to be sincere in her feelings and intentions. I’m aware that there are a lot of catfish out there, but something tells me that she’s the real McCoy. However, every time that I suggest that we meet in person, she avoids the subject entirely. Should I be concerned? Is she just stringing me along?
Ideally, online dating should serve as a platform to meet people with the purpose of dating in person. Whether you do this seeking a long-term relationship, or if you do so simply to pursue a casual no-strings-attached encounter, the face-to-face component is implicit.
However, there are certain situations when the face-to-face meeting cannot take place as soon as one would like. This can be occasioned by many factors. One is distance. If you meet someone with whom you have a strong connection but they live several hundred or thousands of miles away, a face-to-face meeting may take a longer time to come to pass. Likewise, scheduling factors could also come into play. If one or both of you have very busy work schedules, it is not that uncommon for a first date to be pushed back further than normal.
That being said, there are also other reasons why some people online are hesitant to bring about a personal meeting. Some may be very timid. Others might be intimidated by a face-to-face meeting due to concerns about their appearance or low self-esteem issues. Also, there are those who hesitate out of personal security concerns.
This means that you must first ascertain what type of personality the woman you are currently chatting with has. If her hesitancy originates from one of the reasons stated above, then you should exercise some patience. Use the time that you spend chatting with her online to gently soothe her concerns. If she is timid, be empathetic. To alleviate any concerns about security, make clear that any first date should take place in a very public location. You may even want to schedule the first date during daylight hours. It also doesn’t hurt to continuously compliment her on her appearance based on her profile pictures.
If, however, her reasons for avoiding a personal meeting continue to be vague — if she is still unwilling to discuss the issue at all, then this is a reason for pause. While you may want to continue with the online relationship further, be wary of potential red flags. If she starts formulating sob stories that require you to send money or to pay for travel, then chances are that you are facing a completely different situation. Under those circumstances, you should terminate all contact immediately.