Before you met her you were nothing more than some lowly guy that would spend his weekends sitting on his couch eating cold pizza and playing video games. Then, like a shooting star in the darkest night sky, SHE entered your life making it brighter — she gave you purpose.
Imagine for a moment what it would be like if she left you. Okay, okay — we said “IF” — relax, breathe, breathe. Gauging by your reaction, you would not handle a breakup so well. For that reason, you should be vigilant in spotting the signs that indicate that she’s thinking of leaving you.
“I don’t want to think about sh*t like that,” you might say. While it is uncomfortable to think about, it is necessary. By knowing what to look for, you might be able to intercept the root problem and fix it before she decides to walk away. Even in the worst case scenario, it will allow you to prepare yourself psychologically for the moment when she approaches you with the dreaded words, “we have to talk…”
Okay, then — keep a brown paper bag on hand in case the following signs seem all too familiar to your relationship. We wouldn’t want you to start hyperventilating. Here are the eight signs that she’s thinking of leaving you.
1. You’re the Last to Hear About Things
When you first started going out if she so much as found a penny on the sidewalk, you would be the first one to hear about it.
If now she gets a promotion at work, receives a raise or discovers extraterrestrial life and the neighbor of her uncle’s gardener hears about it before you do… then that’s a sign of impending doom for your relationship. That means that she no longer sees you as being relevant to her present life — much less her future.
2. Sex Fades Away
If she no longer is interested in having sex with you — that is an obvious sign. She may start making excuses at first. She may claim to be too tired or too busy. This could develop into demonstrable indifference. Whenever you attempt to initiate intimacy she will physically pull away from you.
It usually starts with sex becoming less intimate, less intense. The dirty talk disappears, foreplay dries up (pardon the pun). Guys often miss this sign and only notice it when it develops to the stage described above.
3. Her Jealousy Fades
In the beginning, if the hostess at Applebees so much as smiled at you when showing you to your table, that would be enough to bring out her jealous streak.
If now you could be watching a beach volleyball match on TV while simultaneously speaking to a former college girlfriend on the phone, and your partner reacts with total and genuine indifference — dude, trouble’s a brewin’.
4. She Stops Talking About the Future
Before, she would always talk about how nice it would be to visit such-and-such place again. She would frequently allude to one day buying a house together, etc. If you notice that she has stopped doing that. If her scope of reference with you does not extend beyond the events of the week — ouch! That usually means that she is planning on dropping the ax on you, she just doesn’t know how or when to do it.
5. She Stops Using the Pronoun “We”
You may think that grammatical cues only have a purpose in a language classroom. However, they can also serve as a barometer for your relationship. If she stops referring to the both you in unison — in other words with the word “we” — that could mean that consciously, or subconsciously, she no longer sees the both of you as a couple.
If the pronouns “I” and “you” start becoming more frequent than “we,” your “happy couple” days may be numbered.
6. She Starts Avoiding Gatherings of Family and Friends
In the past, she would always drag you to some sort of social gathering involving her family or friends. She may even have had made attempts to become involved with YOUR family.
Suddenly, all that stops. She no longer mentions that her sister’s birthday is coming up. She stays silent about what the both of you should get your mom this Christmas. Social frigidity appears to be taking hold.
When that happens it means that she has already started the “decoupling” process. She feels awkward in being seen by her friends and family with someone she is planning to cut-off sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, you will probably be the last to know.
7. She No Longer Laughs at Your Jokes
When you first started going out there was a moment when you considered quitting your day job in favor of becoming a stand-up comedian. That is how confident she made you feel with your sense of humor by the way that she would laugh at your jokes and anecdotes.
If she no longer does that. If the best reaction that you can get out of her is a forced smile — bro, bro… what can we say? Better get that bottle of rye whiskey and a box of tissues ready.
8. She Stops Calling and Texting
The moment that she stops texting and calling at the frequency that she used to in the past, that’s another sign. If she takes a long time to respond to your texts — or doesn’t respond at all — that’s even worse.
We bet that you thought that there would never come a time when you would give anything just to get a “whatchya doin?” text from her while you were in a meeting at work.
— Remember, It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over —
Reading through this list may have made you anxious about the future of your relationship. At this very moment, you may be huddling in the fetal position in the corner of your living room muttering to yourself, “why, why why?”
Instead of doing that, react rationally. If some of these signs are present in your relationship it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s over. If you act immediately you may still be able to rescue the relationship.
You must, however, recognize that a problem exists and reflect on what could be causing it. Don’t beg her to stay — instead, entice her to stay. You do this by rectifying what is drawing her away from you in the first place.