The largest collection of unfaithful and desperate housewives — that’s how the online hookup site, AffairsClub.com, refers to itself. With a boastful claim such as that, how could we pass up the opportunity to review this site? Here is our honest AffairsClub.com review.

— Full Affairs Club Review—

When you first visit AffairsClub it’s like taking a trip back to 2007. The design is antiquated. Then again, it may be an intentional attempt to sustain a retro look — that’s probably why they still have a copyright date of 2007. It certainly can’t be that the developers of AffairsClub have abandoned any active maintenance of the site — right? Anyway, we digress.

— AffairsClub Registration —

Nothing warms the cockles of our hearts more than to register on a married hookup site — one that is likely poorly maintained — to determine if the site has any possibility of warming the cockles of our readership. Yes, we are that fearless and benevolent.

Registering on AffairsClub is as easy as clicking on the “Join Now” button. That expands a small form that requires you to enter your desired nickname for the site, valid email, and birthdate. A password generated by AffairsClub is sent to your email shortly after registering. With that password your registration is complete and you can access the site.

By this stage, the excitement that you will feel will be palpable. After all, you are just a few clicks away from accessing hot and horny married women eager to abandon their privacy on an antiquated site to find men for some hot side action. Wait, something doesn’t sound quite right…

— Say It Ain’t so, Joe —

First, nobody here is named Joe. Second, AffairsClub is in fact — we are sorry to say — nothing more than an empty shell eager to take the money of those horny enough to fall for its ten-year-old facade.

From the moment that you log in, your message inbox starts being flooded with messages from “married hotties” wanting to speak to you. It’s as if your manly scent traveled through the internet and stimulated these women to want to contact you right there and then. If you scan through the profiles on AffairsClub you’d think that a hookup would be a sure thing — there are just so many profiles.

Sometimes, when most of your blood is diverted from your brain to your penis, these sort of delusions happen. You see, AffairsClub is populated by nothing more than fake profiles. All of those messages that you receive — all automated. All of this is designed to entice you to pay for that $29.99 monthly membership.

— Is Affairs Club Legit? —

Before you start penning a letter of complaint about AffairsClub.com to your Congressman, you should be aware that AffairsClub is not breaking any laws. They are upfront about what they do. All you have to do is read their terms and conditions in which it clearly states that they use fictitious profiles and automated messages to entertain members and further market their services. There, there — we know, it’s tough to read the small print at a time like that (the whole blood to the penis thing again).

If you’re looking for a discreet affair, there are millions of real, eager members on Ashley Madison.

You can read our in-depth review of Ashley Madison or you can join here and start meeting locals now.