The Art of the Exit: 5 Techniques for Ditching a Bad Date

Picture this: You’re sitting across the table from your date, trying to keep a straight face while they drone on about their extensive collection of rare toenail clippings. You can practically feel the life draining from your soul, and all you want to do is teleport to a land far, far away – or at least to your cozy couch at home. We’ve all been there – stuck on a date that feels like a never-ending rollercoaster of cringe.

ditch your date

Fear not, weary daters! This article is your ultimate guide to ditching those disastrous dates with style and grace. Whether you’re an experienced escape artist or a newbie looking for some pointers, we’ve got you covered with our top five techniques for dodging a bad date. Say goodbye to awkward small talk and hello to sweet freedom! And remember, while it’s all in good fun, use your newfound powers responsibly.

Technique 1: The “emergency” phone call – Enlist a friend to call with a fake urgent situation

Escape Date -Technique 1_ The _emergency_ phone call

The Setup

To pull off this classic date escape, you’ll need to enlist the help of a trusty friend – someone who can act their way to an Oscar if needed. Before the date, create a code word or phrase that you can casually slip into a text conversation with your friend. Something like, “How’s your rare cactus collection doing?” should do the trick. Once your friend receives the message, it’s their cue to call you with a made-up emergency that demands your immediate attention.

How to Make it Convincing

Now, it’s time for your friend to shine. They should call with a wild, yet believable, emergency that will leave your date feeling sympathetic instead of suspicious. Maybe their kitchen is flooding, and they need your plumbing expertise. Or perhaps they’ve locked themselves out of their house – with their grandma’s secret lasagna recipe still in the oven!

When you take the call, make sure to act as if it’s a genuine surprise. Furrow your brow, nod in concern, and remember to throw in a few “Oh no, that’s terrible!” remarks for good measure. Once the call ends, apologize profusely to your date, and explain that you have to leave immediately to help your friend. Voilà – you’ve just executed the perfect “emergency” phone call exit! And who knows? Maybe your date will be so impressed by your loyalty to your friends that they’ll forget all about your hasty departure.

Technique 2: The work crisis – Claim you’ve received an urgent work email or message that requires immediate attention

Escape Date - Technique 2_ The work crisis

The Setup

In this digital age, it’s all too common for work to follow us everywhere – even on a date. To set the stage for this escape plan, casually mention at the beginning of the date that things have been hectic at work lately. This will prime your date for the work crisis that’s about to unfold.

When you’re ready to make your move, subtly glance at your phone and pretend to read an urgent message or email from your boss or coworker. You could even set a fake notification to go off at a specific time to make it more believable.

How to Make it Convincing

Once you’ve “received” the urgent message, it’s time to put your acting skills to work. Look concerned and slightly frustrated, as if you really wish you could stay but are torn by your work responsibilities. Be sure to mutter something like, “I can’t believe this is happening now!” or “I thought I had everything under control!”

After a moment of contemplation, break the news to your date that you’ve received an urgent work-related message that requires your immediate attention. Tell them you’re sorry, but you have to leave to handle this pressing issue – maybe there’s a deadline that’s been moved up, or a critical system failure that needs your expertise. Apologize again for cutting the date short and assure them it’s not their fault. With that, you’ve made your exit, and your date will be left feeling sympathetic to your work woes. Plus, they might even admire your dedication to your job!

Technique 3: The sudden ailment – Pretend to feel unwell and excuse yourself from the date

ditch date - Technique 3_ The sudden ailment

The Setup

Sometimes our bodies have a mind of their own, and that’s the premise behind this escape technique. To set the scene, periodically drop hints throughout the date that you haven’t been feeling your best. Maybe you had a big lunch and are now feeling a bit queasy, or perhaps you mention a headache that’s been bothering you all day.

How to Make it Convincing

As the date progresses, start to look increasingly uncomfortable. You can rub your temples, hold your stomach, or even let out a subtle groan of discomfort. When the time is right, put on your most pained expression and inform your date that you’re really not feeling well and need to call it a night.

The key here is to choose a believable ailment that doesn’t seem too severe – you don’t want your date worrying about your health or insisting on taking you to the hospital. Stick to common issues like migraines, stomachaches, or dizziness. Apologize for cutting the evening short and assure them that it’s not their fault. They’ll likely appreciate your honesty and feel empathetic, allowing you to exit gracefully and with minimal fuss.

Remember, though, that faking an illness should be a last resort. Save this technique for those truly unbearable dates when you’re desperate for an out.

Technique 4: The pet emergency – Explain that your pet is in distress and needs your immediate attention

Ditch Date - Technique 4_ The pet emergency

The Setup

Before diving into this escape plan, make sure you’ve mentioned your furry (or scaly) companion earlier in the conversation. Casually share a cute story or photo, ensuring that your pet is on your date’s radar. Establishing this connection will make your later exit feel more natural and believable.

How to Make it Convincing

When you’re ready to execute your escape, pretend to receive a frantic text or call from a pet sitter, roommate, or neighbor, informing you that something is wrong with your beloved pet. Perhaps your dog has managed to lock itself in the bathroom, or your cat has climbed a tree and can’t get down.

Act genuinely concerned and explain the situation to your date. They’re likely to understand the bond between a pet and its owner, and will sympathize with your need to rush home and attend to your furry friend. Apologize for the abrupt departure and reassure them that it’s not a reflection of the date itself.

Technique 5: The friend in need – Explain that a close friend is going through a tough time and needs your support

Run from Date - Technique 5_ The friend in need

The Setup

At some point during the date, briefly mention that one of your close friends has been struggling lately, whether it’s with a breakup, family issues, or work stress. You don’t need to go into too much detail – just enough to let your date know that your friend is going through a rough patch.

How to Make it Convincing

When you’re ready to make your exit, pretend to receive a text or call from your distressed friend. They’re having a really hard time and need your support right away. As you read or listen to the message, let concern and empathy wash over your face. It’s crucial to make your date believe that you genuinely care for your friend’s well-being.

Share the situation with your date and explain that you need to leave to be there for your friend. Most people will understand the importance of being a supportive friend in times of need, and your date should appreciate your compassion. Apologize for cutting the date short and assure them that it has nothing to do with their company.

Using these escape techniques wisely and responsibly will help you dodge bad dates with grace. Remember, honesty is always the best policy, but in those rare moments when a date turns unbearable, these strategies can be your lifesavers.

The importance of self-care and prioritizing your comfort in dating situations

Navigating the dating world can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and sometimes you find yourself on a date that’s more of a nosedive than a thrilling ride. Remember that it’s essential to prioritize your comfort and well-being in any social situation, including dating. It’s crucial to learn how to recognize when a date isn’t going as planned and trust your instincts. Grant yourself permission to walk away from a situation that’s not working for you without feeling guilty or ashamed. By embracing self-compassion, you can navigate the dating scene with greater confidence and resilience, knowing that you’re looking out for your own best interests and making choices that prioritize your emotional well-being.

Bonus option: The honesty approach – When in doubt!

How to Express Yourself Tactfully

In some cases, honesty really is the best policy. If you feel comfortable enough with your date, you might consider being upfront about your feelings and telling them that you don’t see a connection. Start by expressing appreciation for the time you’ve spent together and then gently let them know that you don’t think it’s a good match. Try using phrases like, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel a strong connection between us,” or “I think you’re a great person, but I don’t see this going any further.”

The Benefits of Being Honest

While it may be tempting to rely on elaborate escape plans, being honest can lead to more positive outcomes for both parties. It allows you to part ways on good terms and with a clear understanding of the situation. Additionally, honesty can help you maintain your integrity and foster personal growth, as it encourages open communication and self-reflection. So next time you’re considering an escape plan, pause for a moment and ask yourself if honesty might be the better option.