I Finally Have a Steady Partner, is it Normal to Still Want to Masturbate?
Following the breakup of my last relationship, I spent slightly over two years living the single lifestyle. In that time, I found masturbation to be pleasurable as much as it was convenient. For the past six months, I’ve been in a new steady relationship. I’m very happy with my partner — emotionally as well as physically. This is why I feel confused and frustrated by the fact that I still feel the need to masturbate. Is this normal? Is this some form of infidelity? Should I stop?
In the past, masturbation had many stigmas attached to it. Fortunately, we now live in the twenty-first century. The past three decades have produced numerous studies that indicate the many benefits of masturbation. This includes people that are involved in steady and long-term relationships.
The fact that you still feel the need to masturbate in spite of being in a loving and committed relationship is not abnormal. Often times this can occur if there are prolonged periods of separation with your partner. These can include moments when you are away on a business trip, or if you do not live under the same roof. It can also occur by desires being awakened when you think about your partner. In that sense, masturbation can be viewed as a way of honoring the attractiveness and desirability of your partner.
With regard to masturbation being synonymous to infidelity, it is usually quite the contrary. People in long-term relationships that masturbate often do so to provide for a moment of quick physical and sexual release when their partners may not be available for a variety of reasons. Instead of going out and seeking a cheap thrill with another person, you take care of your needs on your own. Even if you were to fantasize about other individuals when you masturbate, the fact that you do not act out on those impulses in the real world implies that your ‘fidelity barometer” is in the right place.
In short, you should not feel any guilt for masturbating even though you are in a committed relationship. As long as that masturbation does not interfere with normal sexual activity with your partner, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
You may also want to consider bringing your partner into the act by engaging in mutual masturbation. If you are separated by distance, why not engage in phone sex or webcam sex and enjoy a hot session of mutual masturbation.
