Pros and Cons of Swinging
Although a marriage, in normative terms, is supposed to be based on two parties co-existing in mutual monogamy on sexual, legal and social levels, the truth is that it is not easy for a relationship to be straitjacketed in such absolute terms. It is complexities in relationships that have led couples to explore fringe sexual practices. One practice that continues to grow in popularity is ‘swinging’.
What is swinging?
In a swinging relationship, couples allow each other to explore sexual relations with other people. The understanding is that such a sexual encounter cannot be counted as infidelity. Couples who opt for this lifestyle are mainly motivated by the excitement of getting fulfillment from someone other than their primary partner.
Here are some of the pros and cons of swinging:
Pros of Swinging
(1) Releases sexual boredom
In a long-term relationship, it is not uncommon for the sex to become a little boring as you both know everything about each other. You end up knowing all your partner’s likes and dislikes and master the easiest way to reach the end result. Swinging can expose both partners to new ideas which they can use to spice things up in their relationship.
(2) Better sexual communication
Being open with your partner about your sexual desires can only strengthen the love that you have for each other. Swinging creates a nonjudgmental atmosphere where everyone can express themselves freely and explore those desires and fantasies.
(3) Enables you to tackle your insecurities
Getting your fears out in the open, though difficult, is better than keeping them hidden. For example, if you have a problem with your spouse kissing a play partner, discussing the issue with him or her will lead to the two of you working together to deal with any issues that may arise. This opens the door to greater levels of trust and honesty.
(4) You get to explore different sides of sexuality
Swinging offers a person a chance to live out his or her own sexual fantasies without fear of being judged or labeled. For example, one can try bisexuality and not fear being branded as ‘gay’. A woman also gets to experience different partners without being labeled a ‘slut’.
(5) It helps increase your social circle
This lifestyle gives couples opportunities to socialize with people they would probably never meet if it wasn’t for swinging. Although most of the socializing is mostly on play dates, those relationships can grow to where you start going to cinemas or meals out.
(6) More date nights
Going out to meet other couples gives you both an opportunity to try to impress each other as you rediscover the thrill of dating, dressing up for a date and playing around with each other as well as with other couples.
Cons of Swinging
(1) Jealousy
This is one of the biggest drawbacks of swinging for a married couple. If the lines of communication are not strong, swinging can intensify any feelings of insecurity and put the relationship in jeopardy. Even though both of you only intended to experiment sexually, one might end up feeling like the other is having more fun.
(2) Unintended emotional attachment
It is very easy to develop emotional attachment with a swinging partner due to constant chatting or flirting with them. A person you only intended to be a swinging partner may start replacing your real partner in terms of emotional attachment.
(3) Risk of sexually transmitted diseases
This risk is very real in swinging relationships. Exposure to STDs increases with the number of sexual partners. Using condoms does not offer absolute protection as STDs can still spread through the oral route.
(4) It can be very time-consuming
Whether planning to go together or separately, juggling swinging with work schedules and family can be a big challenge. It is not easy to devote enough time when you have so much on your plate.
(5) Insecurities can surface
Swinging can intensify any lingering self-esteem issues that you may have especially if the experience falls below your expectations. If left unexamined, these fears can create a wide range of emotions including anxiety, jealousy, and resentment.
(6) Play partners can be hard to come by
Pursuing swinging does not guarantee an endless chain of quick hookups. It is not easy to find play partners who are willing to abide by the same playing rules and get along at the same time.
