7 Signs That You Should End Your Relationship
Only in romantic comedies and fairy tales do relationships ever have an absolute certainty for a happy ending. In real life, you are likely to go through several relationships before you find that one person that makes it all worthwhile. Unfortunately, that means that there will be times when you will have to face facts and bring about the end of a relationship. Knowing when it is best to end a relationship — as opposed to trying to fix it — is an important determination to make. These are 7 signs that you should end your relationship
1. The Fun is Gone
Don’t get us wrong, a successful relationship is not all non-stop fun and laughs. It is, however, consistently enjoyable. The fun times build up a reservoir that you both can tap into during the hard times. Therefore, if the fun has dried up — if you fail to spark in each other joy and laughter — when you do hit a rough patch you will be ill-equipped to see it through. When the fun has permanently moved along, it is wise for you to move along as well.
2. You Struggle to See Your Partner in Your Future
We all have dreams. We all like to imagine what our lives will be like in the future. When you are in a healthy relationship, your partner plays a role in those visions of the future. Your own mind places them in those scenes. If you find yourself struggling to incorporate your partner into those dreams, even worse, if consciously placing your partner into your thoughts of the future clearly clashes with what you want — then bringing an end to the relationship might be for the best.
3. You Feel Like a Stranger More Than a Partner
Sometimes your partner will be the one that gives off the signs that the relationship should be over. They will become distant. You will feel excluded from parts of their life. If your partner no longer brings you to work functions, if they no longer bother to include you in their family gatherings — that is clearly a sign that you are being marginalized. A relationship will never work if one partner is being held in the periphery. If that’s where you find yourself — move on.
4. Physical or Psychological Abuse
While nobody would enter into a relationship if the other person were physically or psychologically abusive from the moment of the first date, most cases of abuse manifest themselves slowly. At first, the acts of abuse might be dismissed as “one-time” occurrences. Excuses are made for the partner. Inevitably, the abuse progresses. This is why at the first sign of such abuse, it should also serve as a large and clear sign to end the relationship.
5. Infidelity
The mortar that holds any relationship in place is trust. Of all the trust-busters that exist, there is none bigger than infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, it’s best to seriously reevaluate your continued presence in that relationship.
6. Massive Deception
As with infidelity, massive deception comes down to a betrayal of trust. If your partner keeps significant facts from you as a premeditated or misguided way of “preserving” your relationship, there is really no solid foundation for the relationship to exist.
This doesn’t mean that if your partner claims that the cat was responsible for breaking your favorite commemorative shot glass (when in fact they broke it themselves) that you should immediately start packing your bags. Massive deception refers to big lies — unforgivable lies. Keeping a prior marriage — or worse, a current marriage — secret; never telling you that they have a child with someone else; hiding a serious criminal past, etc. These are examples of massive deception.
Tolerating massive deception from your partner is akin to laying bricks without mortar. Eventually, they will all come crashing down.
7. Polarized Goals and Ambition
Sometimes two people that hit it off initially simply wind up having different paths set for their respective futures. You may discover that your goals and those of your partner don’t coincide. It becomes clear that achieving your goals would actually stall or prevent your partner from achieving their goals. The relationship then starts hurdling toward an abyss of one side or the other claiming that they sacrificed their future for the other.
The same can also occur when you have different levels of ambition. You may view each accomplishment in life as a stepping stone to the next. Meanwhile, your partner may have more modest aims. They may view your continued drive as recklessness. Rarely are these sorts of disparity satisfactorily reconciled.
You may both be lovely people, but if you lack a minimal level of cohesion in your goals and motivation, it is best for each of you to go down your independent paths.
