You’ve dated your share of losers. Actually, to be more precise, you’ve dated enough careless, heartless, cheating, lying souls to inspire five generations of Country-Western composers. This is why when an attentive, caring, honest and sincere man comes along vying for your affection — you can recognize him a mile away.
You’ve learned by now that it’s not about being rich or poor, tall or short, fat or fit — you’ve learned that the tangibles may provide the initial attraction, but it is the intangibles that determine whether or not he is a keeper. Here are ten signs that he’s a keeper.
1. He’s Supportive
You know that you have found a man that is genuinely supportive when he takes the time to understand your goals. When he helps you overcome your weaknesses by encouraging you to better yourself. When he doesn’t try to assume control and do things for you, but rather provides you with the moral and material support that you need to bring your goals to fruition — your way.
2. When He Longs for You
There is a difference between a man that saturates you with contact to quell his personal insecurities and jealousies, and a man that stays in constant contact with you because he sincerely misses you. The former will crowd and saturate you with meaningless calls and messages. He will make you feel like you are being monitored. The latter will reach out to you simply to say hello — or simply to hear the sound of your voice. A call from a man like this is something to look forward to any time of the day. You can sense how you are mutually reinvigorated by the sounds of your voices or the content of your messages. His longing for you is palpable — that, in turn, makes you feel desired and appreciated.
3. His Attention Toward Your Family Is Genuine
When a man is willing to hear your dad retell his old army stories for the zillionth time — or when he takes time out of his own schedule to teach your nephew how to do a proper layup on the basketball court — you definitely have a keeper. A man that appreciates that who you are is an aggregate of your life’s influences — above all your family influences — and accepts and appreciates them is worth his weight in gold.
Mind you, be on the lookout for the phonies. The ones that “act” nice around your family early on in the relationship to win your favor, but soon thereafter ignore and criticize your family. A keeper will genuinely care for your family — including crazy uncle Joe — through thick and thin, just like you do. He will see them for who they should be to him — an extension of his own family.
4. He Recalls Every Detail
There is nothing more heart-warming than a man that remembers when and how you first met, the restaurant of your first date, the way you take your tea, etc. It demonstrates that he values the uniqueness of you.
5. He Proudly Includes You In His Social Circle
We’ve all dated guys who try to keep us within our own orb of existence. The ones that exclude us from their circle of friends and even family. Those men make us feel like outsiders — interlopers in their lives. That is why when a man comes along that is visibly happy and enthusiastic about introducing you to his friends, it’s a refreshing change. A man who is not embarrassed for his social circle to see how smitten he is with you is a first-rate keeper.
6. Your Input Matters to Him
Nothing denotes how important you are to him than the fact that your opinion has merit for him. Some try to fake this, but simply come off as being disingenuous. A man that really cares about your input will not be indecisive himself. He will invite you freely to the key decision-making areas of the relationship. Important decisions will be made jointly, without fighting.
7. He Celebrates You
By this, we’re not talking about getting you a box of chocolates at Walgreen’s and dinner at the same old place to celebrate your 30th birthday. We refer to a man that surprises you with a candlelit dinner at home and remembers that you prefer white roses. The type of man that will celebrate your 27th birthday with the same gusto as your 30th. The man that will get your friends together to throw you a surprise party.
8. Just the Thought of Him Is Enough
When a person is truly meaningful to our lives, we will find that just thinking about them will relax us when we’re stressed — cheer us up when we’re sad. When that happens consistently, it is a clear sign that he has managed to squeeze into our heart. No longer is he just the “great guy, ” — he is now “the” guy.
9. He Doesn’t Shy About Talking of a Future TOGETHER
Men can find it difficult to talk about commitment. More often than not — as much as they say that they love you — when the topic of the future comes up, they skirt it like the plague. All the more reason to bestow the title of “keeper” to a man who is not only willing to talk about it, but is happy and eager to do so.
With a man like that you know that he sees you as an integral part of his life going forward. You can trust that he is focused on the relationship.
10. You WANT Your Parents to Meet Him
Let’s be honest, we’ve all dated men that we would never want our parents to meet. When you are in a relationship and something within you starts calling out to you, “hey, introduce him to your folks,” that’s a sign that he’s a keeper. What is actually happening is that your subconscious has analyzed what a great guy you have. Your gut instinct is telling you he’s great, therefore it is also telling you to introduce him to your parents. Trust your instincts, we say.
— You Must Recognize a Keeper to Keep a Keeper —
The more we lament about our bad relationship experiences — the more we begin to accept them as our norm. Two or three loser boyfriends and we begin to lose all faith in men. This eventually can develop into apathy. It is important not to fall into this pattern. Yes, there are plenty of losers out there, but there are also plenty of keepers. The secret is to spot the signs.