4 Myths About Sex and Dating

No matter whether you are looking at dating from the long-term or short-term perspective, the link it has to physical intimacy and sex cannot be denied. It’s just a fact, dating and sex go hand-in-hand. Whether all that you are seeking is a quick one-night stand or if you are searching for the love of your life with whom you will enter into a monogamous “until death do you part”relationship, going out on a date — in any of its varied forms — is going to be the first step toward sex.

For this reason, there are many notions about dating and sex that continue to circulate in our society even though they may be less than accurate. This can lead to confusion and frustration among many singles. It can also create false expectations and hinder the natural progression of a relationship.

In order to make dating more enjoyable as well as to improve the quality of your sex life, it is important to separate fact from fiction when it comes to dating and sex. The following are some of the most common myths about the subject.

1- Sex on the First Date Is Bad

Our society places an inordinate amount of importance on the timing that is involved with regard to the first time that a couple has sex. You will hear advice from so-called experts claiming that sex on the first date is always a bad thing. Likewise, you will hear others who claim that you must only have sex after an “x” number of dates have gone by. You know who we are talking about, those who adhere to the “magical third date” rule.

The reality of the situation is that as long as both people involved are confident that having sex at any given moment in time is a good idea, then it can never be a bad thing.

This means that there will be many couples for whom sex on the first date will be an excellent decision. Yes, undoubtedly the majority of these situations will involve couples who were only seeking a one-off or short-term type of encounter. However, if that’s what they are both after, it can’t be wrong. It will also mean that others will prefer to hold off and wait to see how their relationship and level of compatibility evolves.

Don’t allow yourself to be boxed in by society and its silly an arbitrary rules. Remember, if the both of you are in agreement that you want to be intimate, go ahead — have sex on the first date and don’t let the opinions of others get in the way.

2- The First Time You Have Sex With a New Partner Is Always Going to Be Bad

While it cannot be denied that the first time that a couple has sex there can be a layer of awkwardness and unfamiliarity that may affect the sexual performance of both, it would be wrong to apply this as a blanket excuse for bad sex. Sure, it may take a few rolls in the sack to develop a feeling for what your partner really likes and how they like it — however, in spite of any initial imperfections, a good lover will always deliver a pleasurable experience.

If the first time that you have sex with a new partner the sex is bad due to sexual incompatibility, chances are that the sex will continue to be bad no matter how many times you sleep with the person. This is why it is important for you to have a sexual performance profile in mind when you start having sex with a new partner.

Are the both of you into the same things sexually? Do you share similar levels of sexual energy and intensity? These are some of the basic questions that you should ask yourself in order to help you determine whether or not you are truly sexually compatible. If you determine that you are sexually compatible, that means that you would be correct in giving your new partner a margin of tolerance the first few times that you sleep together. If not, it would not be a bad idea to simply end things before they devolve into awkwardness and embarrassment.

3- The Best Sex Can Only Come With a Long-Term Partner

Don’t get us wrong, we are in agreement that some of the best sex in your life is going to come with your long-term partner. However, this does not mean that some of your best sexual experiences are not also going to come from one-time flings. Such as that person whom you shared a night with while spending a weekend in Vegas. You know, the one whose name you can’t even remember but you can remember every sultry and lurid detail of the sex that was involved.

There will be times when sexual compatibility and circumstance will combine to create a setting for an awesome sexual experience. While not every one-night stand or casual encounter will result in mind-blowing sex, this does not mean that it is impossible. There will be those one-nighters that will rock your world and which you will remember fondly years and even decades after they took place.

4- Sex Should Always Be Secondary

When we hear someone say sex should always be secondary, we cannot avoid asking ourselves, secondary to what?

The people who say such things tend to be either hypocritical moralists or confused fools. Please forgive us for our harsh criticism, but the notion that sex should be secondary in any type of relationship is just plain silly. This does not mean that sex should be the only thing of importance in a relationship, but it definitely should form part of the primary group of factors that affect a relationship.

In short-term and casual relationships, sex may be the only metric that is involved when evaluating the quality of the relationship. In long-term relationships, sex will be joined by other factors such as love, affection, dedication, and fidelity, but it will never — and should never — be marginalized as secondary. Further evidence of this can be found in couples who have been in happy relationships lasting decades. The vast majority of these couples — even when they are in their 60s, 70s, or even 80s — report that they still enjoy sexual intimacy and derive a lot of satisfaction from it.

— Sex and Dating Are Part of the Natural Order —

When you remove social conventions and societal prejudices from the equation, you will find that sex and dating are part of the natural order of things for our species. If one were honest, the most feral purpose for dating is sex, so don’t feel bad about it.