6 Possible Reasons You’re Still Single

possible reasons you're still single

As your mother constantly reminds you — you’re still single. You’ve attended more weddings of your college friends than you have had serious relationships. Your only loyal companion has four legs, is furry and occasionally poops on your floor.

For some people, the single life is absolute bliss. “Why mess with a good thing,” is their guiding motto. For others, it is cause for consternation. If you feel that fate has forsaken you, don’t reach for another slice of pizza or pint of ice cream — look inward instead. Evaluate yourself to determine why you’re single. To give you a hand, here are six possible reasons you’re still single.

(Note: If you’re single by choice, then disregard this introspection. Feel free to take off to the latest and trendiest club, pick up the hottest person in the place and engage in yet another night of wild, sweaty and abandoned casual sex.)

1. Your Standards Are Too High

Some people place too high of a standard on those that they would consider to be relationship material. If you are stringent on age requirements, social background, level of education, physical attributes, personality traits and even apply income potential filters — well, the pool of candidates is going to be quite thin. About the only way to meet someone that would match all of your requirements would be to create a future spouse in a laboratory.

While it is important to have some established criteria used to gauge the worthiness of a partner, it should not be restricting to the point where it becomes an insurmountable barrier. Modulating — not eliminating — your standards may help you to get out of the “single zone.”

2. Work Is Your Life

The vast majority of your waking time is spent with all things work related. Even when you’re home you spend most of your time checking messages, making calls, etc. You may not even notice how consumed you are in your job. You may even thrive in such an environment. However, if you have pondered during one of your rare free moments why you’re still single, then there is, most likely, a part of you that doesn’t want to continue this way forever.

It is possible to have both a robust professional life and a happy relationship. For people such as you, it is important to envision a future that would make YOU happy. Don’t focus on the ideal image of a happy relationship that comes from your family, friends, society or movies.

Open yourself to meeting people that are equally as involved in their own careers. Be open to long-distance relationships. Be willing to accept a different set of metrics for examining your relationship. Believe it or not, by being honest about the passion that you have for your work, you will be better able to find someone that shares it — or at least understands it. Otherwise, your work will always be a cause of friction with potential partners.

3. Ghosts of Relationships Past

If you find yourself constantly comparing every person you date to that one special someone from your past — you know, that perfect human being that unfortunately decided to move to Guatemala to pursue a career in coffee bean husbandry — then you have an issue with a ghost of relationships past.

We all have memories of our past relationships. In and of itself, taking a flight of fancy and wondering “what might have been” is not necessarily a bad thing. It can, however, become a hindrance to your future love life if you did not bring closure to your past relationships. Having fond memories is one thing, having open sentimental wounds is altogether different.

Accept that you have to move on. No matter how much potential a past relationship had, when it’s over — it’s over. You must look forward to move forward. Otherwise, you will do yourself and your potential future soulmate a great disservice

4. Stop Being So Desperate

Some people lash out at their single status by becoming increasingly desperate. They act on that desperation by becoming too attached too fast to people that they meet. Many times they never get beyond a first date because nobody wants to date someone who is desperate, right? (well, maybe just another equally or more desperate person, we suppose)

Desperation also makes you take bad decisions. “What.. you’re on parole and want me to hold on to this box for you for a few days without opening it? Sure, just promise you’ll let me love you.”

Pace your affection, allow people the time necessary to be comfortable in receiving it. Don’t compromise on your core values and expectations of people. You’ll see, a little less desperation will result in enduring affection.

5. You’re Way Too Into Yourself

Confidence is a personal trait that both sexes find attractive. Confidence also acts as a contagion — if your partner has it, it’s bound to rub off on you. However, there are some people that take the confidence that nature endowed them with and turn it into something awful. They become self-absorbed @*&%*@#.

If you are egocentric it will be very difficult to enter into a lasting relationship. To resolve this it will require some genuine effort on your part to develop the qualities of humility and empathy. If you are sincere in your desire to change — you can achieve it. Otherwise, just don’t bother — after all, there couldn’t possibly be anybody out there that is good enough to deserve you anyway.

6. Trust Issues

Maybe someone in your past cheated on you or betrayed your trust in some other way. The impact of this betrayal may have left a scar in your soul that has yet to heal. This has made you distrustful of those around you. You may start off a relationship normally, but over time you find yourself becoming overly possessive of your partner. You find it difficult to trust them. You feel a compulsion to verify that what they tell you is true. You may even begin to suffer from a never-ending loop of anxiety and unfounded jealousy whenever your partner isn’t with you. You begin developing scenarios in your head that convince you that they are cheating on you.

If this is you, trust issues are undoubtedly affecting your relationships. Whether you resolve them on your own with self-therapy, or if you consult the help of professional therapists, serious trust issues need resolution. Otherwise, they will continue to undermine your relationships.

— It’s Your Life; Single or Otherwise —

The only opinion that counts regarding your single status is your own. If that is a lifestyle that you enjoy — you should not allow outside pressures to change your mind. You will know when the time is right to settle down. If, however, you are single in spite of your best efforts to cultivate a lasting relationship, then take a closer look at the possible reasons listed above. Do any apply to you?