Come closer to your screen. Okay, look around you — is the coast clear? The reason for all of this cloak-and-dagger secrecy is because we are going to talk about — masturbation. Yes, the dreaded “M-word,” the “do-it-yourself nasty,” the “one-handed lover.”

No matter what you call it, surveys indicate that over 90 percent of sexually active males and over 75 percent of sexually active females masturbate at least once a month. This regardless of their relationship status. Yes, single people, as well as those in relationships, masturbate.

As kids, you may have heard many myths revolving the “act.” Most of them you soon discarded upon reaching your teen years. It is highly doubtful that there is any serious-minded person out there that truly believes that masturbation will lead to blindness. Likewise, life’s experience has probably shown you that there are no people out there with hairy palms. That being said, however, there are several amazing facts about masturbation. Here is a list of nine of them.

1. Masturbation Can Decrease the Instances of Prostate Cancer in Men

There are a lot of ways for men to stay healthy. These include exercising, eating well, and avoiding stress. One way that can specifically and significantly lower a man’s chances of developing prostate cancer is through masturbation. Numerous medical studies have indicated that men over the age of 50 who masturbate on a regular basis have a lowered instance of prostate cancer. If you fall into the corresponding age bracket that means that the benefits of aging do not only include enjoying your pension or getting nice discounts at restaurants, but it also gives you an excellent excuse to rub one out with greater frequency.

2. Women Can Improve the Intensity and Duration of their Orgasms

Decades of studies indicate that women who begin masturbating at an early age and who do so continuously throughout their lives have better and longer orgasms when engaging in sexual intercourse. There are many theories on why this is so. One theory states that women that masturbate with regularity tend to be free of certain psychological prejudices that might affect their sexual gratification. In other words, women that like to “flick the bean” are not going to be caught up in prudish ideas about sex. They know what they like and they go for it. Another theory states that women who masturbate regularly increase the blood circulation to the genitals allowing for improved lubrication during sexual arousal, which in turn, allows them to enjoy real sexual intercourse for longer periods of time.

3. Forget About Sleeping Pills

If you suffer from insomnia you know that there are an endless array of cures and therapies promoting themselves as a solution. Unfortunately, few, if any, actually work.

Fortunately, masturbation has been found to be quite an effective cure for insomnia. When you masturbate not only do you relax physically but you do so psychologically as well. When you climax, your body releases massive amounts of endorphins into your bloodstream.

These endorphins are nature’s little sedatives. They help ease stress, soothe depression, relieve pain, and leave you in a slightly euphoric state. These are exactly the conditions that you need to fall asleep. So the next time that you’re suffering from insomnia, ask yourself this, “do I want a glass of warm milk or do I want to…?” The answer would be pretty easy for us.

4. Reduced Risk for Diabetes

Type-2 or adult-onset diabetes is one of the fastest-growing diseases in the adult population. While it is best controlled through dietary and lifestyle changes, there is a role for masturbation to play in lowering your risk of developing diabetes. When you masturbate the body requires large doses of energy.

The body will always use sugar to produce energy before turning to carbohydrates or fats. That means that whatever sugar you have in your system that has yet to be metabolized will be used by your body during masturbation for energy. Also, masturbation requires energy not only during the act itself, but it also requires energy up to 60 minutes after you finish.

During that timeframe, your body has to replenish vital fluids that it “lost” during the act. In this way, masturbation can be seen as the gift that keeps on giving. So the next time that you have that extra piece of pie for lunch — you know what you must do next.

5. Couples That Play Together Stay Together

While masturbation by definition is a single-person activity, there is no rule that states that two people cannot masturbate together. That is commonly referred to as mutual masturbation. Several studies have been conducted that indicate that couples in long-term relationships who engage in mutual masturbation have improved sex lives and happier relationships.

There are many theories as to why this is so. One states that mutual masturbation facilitates continuous sexual activity even if one of the partners may not be physically up to a sexual encounter due to age or a physical malady. Mutual masturbation allows for couples in such circumstances to enjoy sexual gratification without so much physical exertion.

Another theory states that couples who engage in mutual masturbation at any age — even when they are young — create an atmosphere of more openness and trust between the partners. This facilitates the creation of more advanced sexual fantasies which, in turn, can be made reality later on.

6. Frequent Masturbation Is a Sign of an Active Sex Life and Fidelity

If you are involved in a relationship and you’re still masturbating, chances are that you may feel a little guilty. Well, the time has come to set all guilt aside. Studies indicate that people who have regular sex tend to masturbate with regularity. As a matter of fact, some sexual therapists link frequent masturbation to frequent healthy sex. The reason for this is that the healthier your sex life, the more sexual desire you will have. The greater your sexual desire, the more frequently that you will find yourself in a position where you may need sexual gratification when your partner is not present. By masturbating instead of being unfaithful, it is indicative that you are a loyal partner. So you see, masturbation can be worn as a badge of honor. It can be seen as the badge of a faithful partner.

7. It’s Not Just for Humans

Here’s a little tidbit the next time you’re starved for conversation at a cocktail party. Humans are not the only animals that masturbate. While a trip to a zoo is enough to reveal that monkeys and apes engage in self-love, did you know that other animals did as well? Several rodents, including rats, squirrels, and chipmunks do the personal nasty. So to do dolphins, walruses, moose, whales, and a whole wide assortment of other mammals. Just something we thought you should know. (Yes, it’s okay to ponder how moose masturbate.)

8. Forget the Cold Medicine

Masturbation, just as other forms of sexual gratification, are a great way to boost your immune system. That means that if you feel the effects of a cold or flu coming on this winter season, don’t reach for that cold medicine, instead reach for something else.

9. If You Get Caught, You’re Not Alone

The greatest fear the most of us have when masturbating is getting caught. Don’t fret, surveys indicate that 41 percent of the population that engages in masturbation has been caught in the act at least once. The way we figure it, as long as you’re not caught on the subway or while sitting at a Denny’s, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. After all, whoever caught you, what business did they have coming into your private space without first knocking? If you ever get caught, it is the other person that should feel bad for invading your privacy, not you.

There you have it, a few little interesting facts about masturbation. We won’t take up more of your time with a needlessly lengthy conclusion. Suffice it to say, if this “inspired” you right now — go right ahead. We won’t tell anybody, we promise.