You know the routine, you are out at a club or a bar and inevitably several guys are going to come up to you and try to pick you up. You will see all types — from the creeps, to the pervs, to the losers, to the smooth pickup artists.
Honestly, all but the latter are easy to detect and brush off. The smooth pick up artist, however, is a far more complex creature. Usually full of self-confidence and with just the right amount of swag, it’s hard to see those types coming and it’s quite easy to fall for their brand of talking game.
How do they do it? Just like magicians and carnival hucksters have an unwritten code of never revealing their secrets to outsiders, so to do pickup artists — “PUAs,” as we sometimes refer to them. Fortunately, their secrets are not as tightly kept as those of master illusionists or carnies.
Here are seven secrets pickup artists don’t want you to know
1. They Win Over Your Friends First
Not every pickup artist goes for the short game. Many use tactics involving a long game. One example of this is when a PUA works at winning your friends over first. Yes, this requires a little time, but if they are successful at it, it is the equivalence of multiplying their influence over you several times over. Think back to your past, have you ever been in a situation when those in your immediate circle suddenly begin to talk up this one particular guy? If so, chances are that you fell for one of the oldest PUA tricks in the book.
2. Showing Vulnerability
A good PUA will know how to properly modulate the image of his own vulnerability. A pickup artist knows that it is in his best interest to always emerge as the strong and reliable type. This, however, does not mean that he is above flashing just the right amount of vulnerability to clandestinely ease himself into your heart or emotions. He normally accomplishes this by making you feel that you are privy to some deeply-held feeling or passion of his. He will make you feel like you are the only person in the world that he has ever shared that part of his life with. That not only makes you feel special, but it also provides him with a facade of gentleness. What woman doesn’t want to feel that she — and she alone — can soothe this majestic beast’s soul?
3. The Psychoanalyst
This type of pickup artist is one of the smoothest. He is able to engage you in charming conversation causing you to drop your defenses at which time he begins hoovering up every tidbit of your personal life. He does this to pick up on any of your emotional vulnerabilities. He then reinserts these into the conversation in such a way to make himself appear as an empathetic and understanding person.
These PUAs are able to do this without you even noticing that it is happening. You make the job much easier for them if you happen to be drinking. Regardless, this type of PUA is part psychologist and part player — a lethal combination.
4. The Incremental Toucher
Obviously, if a guy approaches you and he suddenly starts getting all “handsy,” chances are that you’re going to dismiss him immediately. You’ll either punch him in the face or kick him in the balls. This is why slick pickup artists use an incremental approach when it comes to touching. After gaining your attention and engaging you in what you would probably describe to be delightful conversation, he will cunningly start to make contact with you. This will usually start with a light stroking of a hand — each time that his hand is not rejected his touch progresses. During all of this time, the charm of his company is offsetting your normal impulses to push him aside. With this type of pickup artist, before you know it, you’re making out in the men’s room or out in the parking lot.
5. Fake Social Cred
Top notch PUAs realize that one of the most effective ways to win a woman’s attention is by providing her with some social cred about his desirability. He has to make himself appear to be wanted, accepted, or desired by other women.
A very crafty way of doing this is when the PUA approaches the woman that he is targeting as he pretends to talk on his cell phone. He makes it a point to be overheard speaking to “another woman” on the phone. He will craft a conversation that makes him appear to be strong and sensitive, while not being formally attached. This way, when he approaches the woman and begins to engage her in conversation, she already has a preconceived notion of this guy being worth her time and also available.
Yes, pickup artists are not above using props to improve their game.
6. The Make Me Smile Approach
Another secret used by PUAs is commonly referred to as the “make me smile” approach. This involves the pickup artist holding back on his smile in order to make the woman work at getting him to smile.
This type of tactic can’t be employed by any run of the mill PUA. First, it requires the pickup artist to have a naturally dazzling smile. In other words, his smile has to be something that a woman would want to see. Second, it requires a very delicate balancing act. In withholding his smile, the PUA cannot simultaneously appear to be rude or in a foul disposition.
The pickup artists that are good at this technique, however, usually reap great dividends. They are able to essentially use their smile as a reward mechanism for when a woman does something that they want.
7. The Negging Technique
Another secret in the pickup artist’s arsenal is the negging technique. Negging involves giving backhanded compliments or subtle insults designed to undermine your self-confidence. The PUA’s goal is to make you feel slightly insecure, increasing the likelihood you’ll seek their approval and validation.
For example, a PUA might say something like, “I like how you don’t care about what people think of your outfit” or “You’re pretty confident for someone with such an unusual taste in music.” These seemingly innocuous comments can make you doubt yourself, making you more susceptible to the PUA’s advances.
— So Now You Know —
These are some of the most common tricks and secrets used by pickup artists to win over females. While these tactics may not be successful all of the time, they are successful enough times to make them popular among PUAs. Now that you have some insight into how pickup artists operate maybe you’ll be able to detect some of these tricks in the “field.”
Men, if you haven’t tried any of these secrets before, give them a shot. You never know, they just might work for you as well.