Cougars! Hot, vivacious, luscious, sexually-charged hotties over 40 eagerly seeking sexual satisfaction. Imagine a hookup site that was 100 percent free to use and that promised you plenty of contacts with these types of Cougars. That would be one hell of a find. Cougared.com is a site that promotes itself exactly along those lines. Yes, it sounds too good to be true. However, we must find out — if not for us, then for you, our lonely, sex-starved, cougar-hungry readers. Here is our in-depth Cougared review.

— Pros and Cons —

Pros

• 100 percent free

Cons

• Majority of cougar profiles are inactive or hollow (no pic or info)
• Full of ads promoting other paid adult and dating sites
• Verification email takes an unusually long time to arrive
• Antiquated visual aesthetic, navigation and user interface
• The only feature is a watered-down search engine

— In-Depth Cougared Review —

We like to consider ourselves well versed in the ways of the online dating industry. We expose ourselves to more dating and hookup sites in one year than most people do in a lifetime. Even so, there are still times when we come across a site that makes us sit in utter silence as we contemplate what we just witnessed. This is what happened to us when we looked into a cougar focused hookup site known as Cougared.com.

Based on how it describes itself — 100 percent free, no hidden costs, etc. — the first thing that goes through your mind is, “what do I have to lose?” It was with that mindset that we got our review process underway.

— First Impression —

Hookup site, dating site —any type of internet-based site or app for that matter — relies heavily on its visual aesthetic to entice users. This doesn’t mean that in order for a site to be successful it must be a visual masterpiece, but it must have something that inspires, coaxes or reassures. Our first look at Cougared almost had us closing our browsers before we even got started.

Cougared’s welcome page looks like a piece of internet history come to life. If you remember what a website designed to promote a local plumbing service circa the late 90s/early 2000s looked like, that’s what Cougared looks like. From its navigation tabs to its goldenrod inspired color scheme, to its lack of responsive design for proper mobile rendering — Cougared reeks of an era when “Friendster” was a big deal instead of “Tinder.” The only evidence that it is intended for use today is the “copyright 2017” that appears in its footer.

If we are being too subtle, allow us to clarify — Cougared severely underwhelmed us with its appearance.

— Forget Appearances, What About Functionality? —

True, there are sites for which functionality trumps aesthetics. Otherwise, how could we explain the success of Facebook, right? Okay, so let’s give Cougared a pass on its antiquated look. Unfortunately, once you get past its look, you are then confronted by what is just shoddy and grossly negligent sales copy on its main page. It literally touts that it has not millions, not hundreds of thousands, not even tens of thousands — no, sir. Cougared is proud to announce to the world that it has “thousands” of users. Hell, one of our editor’s cats has more followers on YouTube than that — and that cat has been dead for over five years! Bragging about “thousands” of members ‘around the world” is bad salesmanship. Then again, we are here to critique functionality, not promotional tactics.

Okay, so the site looks like last week’s dog crap and it does a poor job at selling itself. Let us press forward and get to its features. Well, Cougared offers a search engine. If you were expecting a longer list, sorry. That’s the only feature the site offers. If you want a modern swiping option — nope. If you were interested in video chat — nuh-uh. If you are shy and prefer to do your share of cougar communication via winks — you’re outta luck, dude.

Since search is all that Cougared offers, you would assume that it must be some kick-ass search engine. Again, that is not the case. There are few filtering options for conducting a search. That means that each time that you conduct a search you are served with long lists of user profiles —many not from your area.

You might say, “who cares, as long as I can get me a cougar.” Your argument might have some merit if the cougar profiles on Cougared were to have value. Unfortunately, they do not. Our testers combed through hundreds of profiles on Cougared and over 95 percent consisted of hollow profiles (no pictures, etc) or were inactive.

— So, What Gives with Cougared? —

At first, Cougared makes you feel as if you wandered into an online ghost town. Why even bother keeping it online and cover the costs involved if it charges nothing and offers no practical user value?

The answer can be found by taking a closer look at its registration process. Befitting a site such as Cougared, it requires little of those wishing to sign up to become a member. The only thing that is mandatory is a valid email.

Cougared sends a verification email to that address which contains a verification link that you must click on to validate your new account. If you have joined other dating sites before, you know the drill. While on other sites this is as close to an instantaneous process as possible — on Cougared it seems to lag, almost as if by purpose.

When you check back on the site you are served with a screen that states that your registration is pending. Then it offers you suggested links that you could visit “while you wait.” All of these links belong to sex webcam sites, other dating sites, etc. — all of them requiring some sort of payment.

Even after you receive your verification email — which for our testers ranged from 15 to 45 minutes —when you are logged in you are constantly being served ads to other paid sites. Call us cynical, but perhaps the entire purpose for Cougared’s existence is not to bring about hot and sweaty sexually-charged encounters between cougars and young men. Maybe — just maybe — Cougared serves solely as a portal to redirect you to other sites from which Cougared’s operator derives a commission. We know, we should bite our tongues for thinking that such a thing is possible, but how else would you explain Cougared’s existence?