It has been a few weeks since you first met and started dating her. Overall, you’re happy with the arrangement. You both have a good time, she’s hot — on the surface, everything seems to be going along well. However, you can’t seem to completely shake off this funny feeling that keeps stirring around within you. No, it’s not that chili dog that you had for lunch this afternoon. It is more profound. As if something is off.
While you wouldn’t admit it publically — not even to your buddies — something within you makes you suspect that the woman you are dating might be a female player.
— What Is a Female Player? —
We are pretty certain that in a broader context you know what a “player” is. Unfortunately, you may be under the mistaken impression that players come only in male form. The reality of the situation is that there are plenty of female players out there as well.
A female player will involve herself with a partner based entirely on self-interest. She will derive some sort of benefit from the guy and when he is no longer useful to her she will cast him aside and move on. Yes, just like throwing away a can of soda when you finish drinking it.
Female players will be with a guy for much the same reasons that male players are with women. It could be for the sex, material benefits, exposure to upward mobility, luxury, your car — basically think of any shallow reason and you could apply that as a motive for any player, male or female, to be with another person.
— B-b-but She Loves Me… —
Just because you suspect that the woman you are dating is playing you doesn’t mean that it is so. However, whether she is or she isn’t, you are much better off knowing the truth.
There comes a moment when you simply have to grow a pair and see things for what they are. So, if you’re a drinker, take a couple of shots right now. If you are a non-drinker, have a couple of bags of potato chips on standby to stress eat. Here are six signs that the woman you are dating is a female player.
1. She Came On to You First
Be honest, would you classify the woman that you are dating right now as being out of your league? If you answered, yes, don’t panic — there isn’t any need to panic… yet.
Now, think back to how you two first met. Did she come on to you first? Was she insistent or relentless?
If the answer to any of those questions is, yes, then there might be an issue. Female players tend to target men who on the attraction scale are several notches below them.
Being with such an attractive woman, especially if you are not used to such company, places you in a very vulnerable position. If she is a player, she knows that you will tolerate a lot so as not to lose her.
2. No Pictures, Please
If the woman you are dating appears to have an aversion to being photographed, that should definitely raise a red flag. Think about it, out of all of your previous girlfriends, lovers, female friends, female family members — what percentage of them avoided being photographed — especially when they were all dressed up and out with their man?
An honest answer to that question would be “practically none.” If anything, women tend to find every opportunity and excuse to post selfies and other images of themselves and their partners.
If the woman you are currently dating is just the opposite, there is a pretty good chance that her aversion is it due to the fact that it wouldn’t be convenient to have herself be seen in photographs with you. Maybe she is seeing other men at the same time that she’s dating you. Maybe she loves your money but is embarrassed to have her friends see her with you.
We told you this was gonna be brutal, dude.
3. Keeps You a Secret
Expanding on the photography aversion thing, if she also does a great job at keeping you from meeting her friends and family, that is definitely suspicious. It usually means one of three things — none of them good. One, she is cheating on somebody with you. Two, she is embarrassed by you. Or three, she is playing you.
A woman who is truly happy to be with you, who genuinely cares for you, will want to show you off — especially to close family and friends. If she’s never even hinted at that, look out.
4. Many Guy Friends
The fact that she has male friends is not a sign that she is playing you. It is perfectly normal for women to have platonic male friends. However, if the number of male friends is unusually high. If you frequently catch her with other guys and she quickly introduces you to them as a “friend,” then something else might be at play here.
Some of those other guys might genuinely be friends, but it would not be surprising if some of them were also in the process of being played by her just like she is playing you.
5. You’ll Take Care of It, Won’t You, Darling?
Female players are very adept at getting what they want. Hell, she might be squeezing you right now and you wouldn’t even notice it.
Think back, has she presented sob stories to you so that you eventually “volunteer” to pay her rent? How about her car payment? Credit card debt?
Does she frequently show you clothing or lingerie that she would “like” to buy to be “sexy for you,” but then pouts stating how sad she is that she “just can’t afford” that type of luxury? Are you frequently inspired — seemingly all by yourself — to offer to buy them for her with your money?
If you find yourself being this “benevolent” in ever-increasing frequency, we’re sorry to say it, but she is playing you — and she is playing you well. This would make her one of the most potent types female player in that she knows how to push your buttons to get what she wants while making you think that you are doing it out of your own volition.
6. Gets Upset When She Doesn’t Get Her Way
How does the woman who you are dating react when she doesn’t get her way? If you delay the purchase of a promised gift, does she get upset? Does she become offended or belligerent? If the answer is, “yes,” then that’s another sign that she could be a female player.
If she starts becoming offensive and belittling when you do not fall for one of her passive suggestions for money, then that further reinforces the probability of her being a player.
— It’s Brutal, but It’s Best to Know —
It’s never cool when a woman plays a man nor is it cool when a man plays a woman. We hope that these warning signs will be of some use to you. Remember, it may be brutal to find out that you are being played, but it is much better to open your eyes to it than to keep on being played. Okay, man, you can have those shots or eat those potato chips now.