Helping a Widowed Person Find a New Partner

Death — it is a topic that most dislike discussing, much less attempting to imagine how it will affect your life and those who are close to you. Unfortunately, death is part of the human condition. For married couples, this means that it is highly probable that one of the members will become widowed at some point.

Obviously, that is something that most people will want to bury deep and not consider. Therefore, when the sad eventuality comes to pass, they will be caught off guard.

Helping a Widowed Person Find a New Partner

During the first year or two following the tragic event, freshly widowed people are not in a state of mind to be considering finding a new partner. That is perfectly understandable. After all, mourning the passing of a spouse is something that takes a long time. However, a moment will come when the windowed person will begin to consider the possibility of finding a new partner. Not to replace the lifelong memories of their dearly departed spouse, rather to be able to find someone to share what remains of their life.

If you are the child, sibling, or close friend of a widowed person you could find yourself in one of two positions.

1- The first position is one in which the widowed person openly seeks your advice when it comes to the idea of seeking out a new partner. This could take the form of helping them establish when the time is right to search for a new partner or in helping them determine if a specific person is right for them.

2- The second possible position involves one in which the windowed person has become reclusive in terms of seeking out new people. You will notice that the person is ready to move on with their life, that they have successfully gone through the appropriate mourning process, and it will be obvious to you that there life would be significantly improved if they sought out a partner.

When you are in such a position your role becomes more of a passive advisor than an active consultant. You have to help the person see for themselves that they are ready to meet a new partner and not feel guilty about it.

— Ways to Help the Widowed Find a New Partner —

1- Reassure Them That They Are Not Betraying Their Deceased Spouse

When a widowed person takes the first steps in the process of meeting a new partner they will inevitably encounter feelings of guilt. To some, it will be as if they were cheating on their deceased spouse. This is why it is important to reassure them that they are not engaging in an act of infidelity. They are just continuing with their life. This can be reinforced by reminding them that their deceased spouse in all likelihood would have wanted them to live out there remaining years happily, in the company of someone who cares for them and loves them.

2- Bolster Their Self-Confidence

Apart from the emotional pain and the sensation of a void being created with the loss of a spouse, it is also common for the surviving partner to lose their self-confidence. This is perfectly normal. After all, with the passing of their spouse, they also lost their greatest confidant. They lost the person who knew them best. As a consequence, the person who was best able to gauge their moods, to give them a pep talk when needed, is no longer around. This means that at a moment such as this they are very likely to begin doubting themselves. They may convince themselves that they are too old, that nobody could possibly be interested in them.

Helping them understand that age is never an issue when it comes to dating can be very beneficial. You should remind them that they are not the only widowed person in the world. That there are countless numbers of other people out there in the same position seeking a new partner.

3- Help Them With Their Appearance

This may not apply to every windowed person, but it is not uncommon, for both men and women, after being married for a long time to develop a relaxed approach toward there appearance.

They may have lost that “eye” for staying stylish when it comes to fashion. If that is the case, taking them shopping and helping them select outfits that are in style, while also being age appropriate, would be a definite plus. The same holds true when it comes to getting the right haircut or applying makeup.

In other words, think of yourself as their style guide.

4- Introduce Them to the World of Online Dating

If you are currently single, or if you have been single at any stage in the last 20 years, chances are that at a minimum you have a basic understanding of online dating. You are familiar with what sites are popular, you have a general notion of how they work.

A widowed person, especially if they were married for more than 20 years, likely doesn’t have the same level of understanding of online dating sites as you do. Even if your own personal experience with online dating is minimal, you in all likelihood have a better grasp of the concept and the technology behind it. This makes you well-suited to become the widowed person’s online dating pathfinder.

By helping them select the appropriate online dating platform you will help them avoid sites which could be inappropriate for them or that could be flat out scams.

By helping them fill out their online dating profile not only will you be there to give them that boost of confidence when they need it most, but you will also be able to help them build their dating profiles. You can make sure that they choose the right profile picture and that they phrase their bio in a way that improves their chances of finding a partner.

You may also be called upon when they start receiving there first initial responses. By being there, you’ll be able to help them craft an effective response. You will also be able to make sure that they are not being taken for a ride by an unscrupulous person.

— Just Be There —

Every situation and every person is going to be different. This is why the best thing that you can do to help a widowed person find a new partner is to be there for them.

The tips mentioned above should help you in terms of being aware of what to expect. However, in the end, it all comes down to reassuring them, giving them emotional support, and keeping an eye to make sure that their path for finding a partner is a safe one.