HornyAffairs Review — You’re Horny, Now What?
Can HornyAffairs turn fantasies into reality? To find out, we put our testers to work exploring every nook and cranny of HornyAffairs.com. They examined each curve and stroked every option in order to present the following climaxing and culminating review.
HornyAffairs Review Results
Final Word on Horny Affairs
HornyAffairs is one of those hookup sites that should be avoided. Its sole purpose is to lure newbies, take their money and spit them out.
We rate the site as VERY POOR and to be a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY.
— Pros and Cons —
- Catchy domain name (err, hmmm… that’s about it)
- Full of fake profiles
- Requires a paid membership to use its communication features
- Templated and clunky design
— Full HornyAffairs Review —
When asked, most people will cite many motivations for seeking out and using an online hookup site. The reality, however, is that there is just one overriding reason for joining a hookup site. Unlike their online dating site cousins, which tend to cater more to “long-term” and sentimental motivational factors, hookup sites rely more on primordial physical urges. In other words, people flock to hookup sites because they are horny.
Bearing that in mind, it should be no surprise that there is a hookup site that has branded itself as HornyAffairs.com. We give them top kudos for honesty in branding. There is no beating around the bush here (if that sounded dirty to you, then you probably are in dire need of joining a hookup site yourself). This site focuses on people seeking casual, no-strings-attached encounters — regardless of their current relationship status.
The name of the site alone conjures up images of hot and steamy flings with frustrated and horny housewives as well as with ripped hubbies with 6-pack abs whose wives don’t appreciate their sexual prowess.
— First Impression —
When you first visit HornyAffairs, you are likely already in a pumped up and eager mood. You can’t wait to feast your eyes on the multitude of horny people waiting to hookup with you. Your first look at the HornyAffairs welcome page will boost your expectations even more. In the middle of the page, in bold lettering, you will see a headline that states, “over 1,300,000 members are online now seeking an affair!” Heck, with figures such as those you can probably envision yourself squeezing in multiple hookups in one day. Perhaps one before lunch and maybe another one before dinner.
To the newbie, everything about the welcome page invokes promising results. From the tiled profile images of presumed existing members; to the “live feed” of recent messages from horny women seeking company, now — everything exudes an aura of “you must join now — horny people going to waste, must join now.”
Of course, we are not newbies. To us, the HornyAffairs welcome page seemed suspect. It looked eerily like hundreds of other templated hookup sites we’ve seen in the past. Usually, those sites promised a lot, but they offered very little in terms of results.
— Registration —
The registration process for HornyAffairs is simple and takes place entirely from the welcome page. All that is required is for you to enter a valid email address, choose a password and enter your date of birth. During our testing basic registration took seconds.
You are then redirected to the HornyAffairs members area. A pop-up window opens reminding you to finish filling out your user profile. This consists of adding your location and a brief written description about yourself. When they say brief, they really mean brief. The minimum length is five words, so if you were considering writing, “Me horny, want action now,” that would be just fine. You are also reminded to upload a profile picture. If this minimalist style of profile building is too much for you, don’t worry, you can skip all of these steps and add them later — or never.
When we saw how simplistic the profile requirements were for their members, this further added to our suspicions of HornyAffairs. It appeared as if they just wanted to fast-track the membership process at the expense of proper vetting. From what we saw, anybody could create as many accounts as they wanted.
— HornyAffairs User Experience —
Your primary dashboard shows you how many people have liked your profile, how many people you have liked, how many suggested matches you have and how many people have visited your profile in total. During our tests, these numbers kept increasing with each refresh. Those results were incredible when you consider that some of the testers hadn’t posted profile pictures and had profile descriptions which length did not surpass a dozen words. Obviously, things were getting more suspicious the further we spent on the site.
The rest of the user dashboard shows you tiled images of members that are currently online, along with more images of members that HonryAffairs believes will be a good match for you. What criteria they use to arrive at such matchmaking — we sure as hell don’t know. From what we can gather it is just a randomly generated sequence of members — some not even within driving distance of your geographical location — based solely on the gender of the match that you had indicated you were seeking. Definitely not scientific and far from being a true matchmaking algorithm. Things just weren’t getting any better for HornyAffairs from our perspective.
— Aha! We Thought So… Fake Profiles! —
It wasn’t soon after our testers had started exploring their respective dashboards when the ugly truth about HornyAffairs started to come out in droves. Our testers started receiving unsolicited messages from other members wanting to “start a conversation.” As we probed each of these messages — as well as other profiles from our suggested match list and general search results — we realized that the majority of the female “members” on HornyAffairs were fake profiles.
When we combed through the site’s terms of service, sure enough, there it was — they reserve the right to use automated and company-generated profiles for marketing and entertainment purposes. In other words — to draw you into upgrading your membership.
The latter became painfully obvious when we discovered that in order to send or to reply to any message, you needed a paid membership.
— Cost of HornyAffairs—
For those of you willing to gamble on a HornyAffairs membership, the cost is $29.95 per month. You may also opt to pay $99.95 for 6 months in advance, or $59.95 for 3 months.