Localmilf is either the most honest about being dishonest, the most brazen, or simply the most careless and foolhardy hookup site we’ve reviewed to date. Our in-depth Localmilf review is a must read for anyone considering membership on this site.

— Pros and Cons of LocalMilf —

Pros

• You can be among the first to use the word “DILF
• Great example of what to avoid in hookup sites

Cons

• Requires paid membership for any functionality
• Saturated with fake profiles and message bots
• Expensive monthly membership

— In-depth LocalMilf Review —

Through the annals of history of online dating, many sites have come and gone. We have seen our share of doozies. Some made a concerted effort to provide their members with results but fell short. Others were merely concerned about generating revenue for themselves and never focused on providing results to their users. While most sites today provide excellent value to their users, some nefarious sites continue to lurk across the vast expanse of the internet.

The hookup sites that fall into the latter category normally make an attempt to “cloak” their true intentions. They hide behind boastful promises, sexy pictures and tons of fine print. This is why a site called LocalMilf.com recently caught our attention.

— What Peaked Our Interest? —

As with any hookup site, the first thing that a user will see is its welcome page. In the case of LocalMilf, it consists of a minimalist design geared to get new users to register without providing much insight into its service. That alone is not a signal as to the quality or performance of a dating site. The plainness of the welcome page did not bother us.

What really caught our eye were two things. First, the welcome page had only two images. Being called LocalMilf, you would expect, hmm, we don’t know… perhaps tons of images of moms that a significant number of people would like to — well, you know. While one of the images was of an attractive “milfy” woman flashing her maternally pierced boobs, the second image left us with the urge to coin a new word. “DILF” or “FILF” came to mind. The second image was that of a shirtless man showing off his “dad bod.” In fact, the first question the site poses to new users when registering with LocalMilf is whether they are interested in male or female MILFs.

None of us had ever heard of a male MILF. While there is nothing wrong with that, the terminology could cause some confusion. All joking aside, it appears that LocalMilf is a turn-key site. It is registered in the Anguilles and uses at least three different outsourced support services to handle tech, billing and customer support issues. It’s quite easy for precise terminology to fall through the cracks or to get lost in translation under those circumstances. That, however, does not do much to raise expectations for the site’s performance.

— What We Discovered —

As interesting as male MILFS — or DILFS — are to talk about, the most intriguing aspect of the site was found immediately below the DILF and MILF pics. Right there, above the fold on the welcome page, in a large and readable font was a phrase that took our writing staff by surprise. Fred, one of our editors, was so flabbergasted that he required hospitalization soon thereafter. (Then again, this may have been due more to the fact that Fred had recently eaten a burrito that had been sitting unrefrigerated on the counter of our coffee room for three days.)

What was this phrase? Was it an ancient incantation designed to summon evil spirits? Was it ancient Sumerian cuneiform script revealing the origins of mankind? Was it a complete listing of the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices? No! It was the following:

“By creating a profile I am 18+, agree to terms & use of fantasy cuties, who may contact me for entertainment purposes, updates and offers.”

Never have we seen the admission of using fake profiles appear in such a succinct and readable form immediately ABOVE the registration button. Normally, such revelations are buried in the fine print of the site’s terms of service. Even the most “transparent” of sites keeps those revelations for the end of the registration process.

Our staff being naturally inquisitive and high off eating rancid burritos, dug around as to why LocalMilf was being so honest about its fake profile strategy. It appears that LocalMilf had been having higher than normal chargeback claims. This was causing issues with its payment processing service. So much so, that in order to mitigate the number of chargebacks, they felt it was best to just let it all hang out. This way, if “fantasy profiles” or “automated messages” were used as a basis for a chargeback claim, at least LocalMilf would be able to argue, “hey, our disclaimer is clear and up front.”

— What About LocalMilf’s Performance? —

Normally, the user experience, functionality and overall performance of a hookup site would be front and center for a review. In the case of LocalMilf, however, it is found here — near the bottom, like putrid goldfish droppings at the bottom of a fish bowl. Why? Quite simply, upon registering the user experience is so awful that civility and decorum dictate that any description of it be placed at the bottom.

We have visited many sites that inundate new users with automated messages to get them to upgrade, but none to the extent of LocalMilf. In one hour, a new user can easily receive dozens of messages. All, unfortunately, originating from automated bots or fake profiles.

Glancing through the members on the site, it becomes crystal clear that if there are real MILFs (or DILFS) on the site, they have probably been suffocated or crushed by the massive weight of all the fake profiles that comprise the site.

Just to add insult to injury — when you conduct a search or glance through your suggested matches, the majority of the “members” do not even originate from your geographical location. Most have no location posted or are from places hundreds or thousands of miles away from you.

— Cost —

We cannot fathom any person — no matter how new they are to hookup sites, or how much they love MILFS — who would consider paying to be a part of this site. A one-month membership on LocalMilf will run you $29.95. You also have the option of paying $69.90 for six months in advance. The latter choice is ideal for those of you that get off on talking to bots and looking at recycled generic fake profile pics.