Mail Order Brides — 4 Pros and 4 Cons
There are a lot of things that can still be obtained through the mail — even nuptial bliss. Yes, we’re talking about mail order brides. While the term “mail order brides” is a bit of a misnomer — the concept of using an established and trusted service to meet women from foreign lands for the purpose of marriage dates back to the 19th century. Long the purview of lonely men in desolate regions of the world — gold miners, hermits, frontiersmen, lighthouse keepers — the internet has rekindled and modernized the mail order bride industry and it now appeals to men from all walks of life.
While the modern version of the mail order bride industry has many advantages — both for the men that use the service, as well as for the prospective brides — there are also some downsides that should be considered.
— The Pros of Mail Order Brides —
1. ‘Til Death Do You Part
It is an unfortunate fact that roughly 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Statistics on marriages resulting from matches made by mail order bride agencies have a much lower divorce rate. Over the last 25 years, the divorce rate for mail order brides in the U.S. is only 20 percent.
2. These Brides Are More Faithful
Russia, Ukraine, Vietnam and the Philippines are the countries of origin for the greatest number of mail order brides to the U.S. The cultural and social norms of each of these countries place a great value on fidelity. This means that women from these countries are more predisposed to be faithful due to their upbringing. Also, especially in the case of brides from Russia, there is a shortage of men in their home country. It is estimated that for every ten women seeking a husband in Russia — there are only eight eligible bachelors available. Growing up with such disparity in the number of available men, Russian women are more prone to value and cherish the men they marry. This, in turn, makes infidelity less likely to occur.
3. More Family-Oriented
Just as mail order brides are more faithful, they are also more family-oriented. Their cultural upbringing places a lot of focus on family and children. A mail order bride is more likely to be eager to start a family at a younger age than a woman born in the U.S. Likewise, she’ll be more prone to want a larger family.
4. More Serious-Minded Women
Some men ask, “what’s the difference between a mail order bride agency and an international dating site?”
The main difference is that both sides of the equation — the prospective bride and groom — by the fact that they have registered and retained the service of an agency, are serious about getting married. Nobody involved is there just to cruise the field or have a casual one-night stand. Both the man and the woman are not out to play games — that is something that cannot be said about even the most serious of dating sites.
— The Cons of Mail Order Brides —
There is no way to deny the fact that a mail order bride will involve establishing an initial relationship across thousands of miles. The two most frequently used methods by mail order bride agencies to foment communication between the prospective bride and groom are — first, to use correspondence and digital communication. Second to have the males travel to a selected country and meet prospective brides in social mixers set up by the agency.
In either option, the inherent problems of long distances are present. Meeting and attempting to determine the true personality and attributes of a woman entirely online — or through the mail — is difficult. The distance involved in a personal meeting simply adds to the distortion of the courting process. Your real face-to-face time will be quite limited — perhaps even consisting of just one such meeting before actually getting married!
2. Culture Clash
When two people come together from two different cultures — even when love is involved — it will result in some degree of culture clash. Normally, most of the points of contention get resolved as the bride assimilates into American culture and the husband discovers the nuance of her culture. However, for some couples, this may create tense, embarrassing or conflicting moments early on in their married life.
3. Language Barrier
Some men have the misconception that women who have registered with a mail order bride agency will automatically be fluent in English. The reality is that the opposite is true. While most agencies do require the prospective brides to possess some basic English skills — this by no means implies that their English will be that good.
This can create problems from the very early stages. Imagine trying to learn about a person you might marry by trying to read emails in broken English — or have a Skype video call in which you could only understand 20 percent of what she was saying. Yes, it could quickly turn into a very frustrating situation.
It might be easy for some to overlook such language barriers during the courting phase, but once back in the U.S. and the toils of daily married life begin — that’s when miscommunication could lead to bitterness.
The cost associated with a mail order bride agency — one that is properly established and reputable — is not cheap. They will usually range from $5,000 to $25,000 dollars. We know, we know — “you can’t put a price on love.” However, you should prepare yourself for the costs involved in order to budget accordingly and not start your married life with financial problems.
When you budget for your overseas bride search, make certain to include all of the ancillary expenses that are involved — not just the agency fee.
You must consider the travel expense, legal fees, cost of English classes once in the U.S., and the cost of the wedding itself.
— “Should I Just Stick to my Local Scene” —
By no means should you feel that you must restrict yourself to your local area to find a bride. The internet has opened up the world too much to allow yourself to do that. Reputable mail order bride agencies do a very effective job at bringing people together from quite distant parts of the world.
It is important, however, to consider everything that is involved in the mail order bride process. Upon closer examination, it may result that it isn’t for you. Likewise, a closer look might reveal that it is the ideal solution that you’ve been waiting for all these years.