4 Essential Tips for Couples Considering Their First Threesome

What a couple does in the intimacy and privacy of their own relationship is their own business. For some couples, the thought of a threesome would be out of the question. For others, it is something that they are curious to explore. If you were to poll a group consisting solely of men, it should be no surprise that the number of those saying that they would happily participate in a threesome would be through the roof. What may surprise some people is that when responding candidly to the same question, a large segment of women would respond that they too would find a threesome to be be sexually exciting and appealing. If you are a couple that are genuinely interested in experimenting with a real threesome — good for you. Before you rush into such an experience, however, it is important that the both of you be aware that curiosity and fantasy is one thing — reality is another.

Many times couples rush into a threesome and then find that the experience — instead of being fun — turned out to adversely affect the relationship. This usually happens because the couple failed to properly prepare beforehand. In order to maximize the joy and pleasure of the experience, here are four essential tips for couples considering their first threesome.

1. Keep Close Friends Out of It

It may seem intuitive to involve a close friend of one of you to be the third participant. After all, there is a level of trust and a history that binds you together. The reality is, however, that those same reasons are why close friends should be avoided. Even the most open-minded of people could experience emotional fall-out issues when they see their close friend intimately involved with their partner. The closeness that you had as friends could be affected. Likewise, you may resent your partner for being so attentive to your friend’s needs. This is why it is best to incorporate a third person whom you both met as a couple and with whom neither one of you has any ties beyond that of an acquaintance.

2. Set Ground Rules as a Couple

Before you even begin to search for the third person on your sex team, you should take a moment as a couple and set some ground rules. This is where the both of you must agree on what you are comfortable with and what you want to avoid. For example, will open mouth kissing with the third member be allowed? Some partners find that crossing the line from the sexual to the emotionally intimate troublesome and would prefer to restrict that. Is anal acceptable? Will incorporating the third person into any fetishes that you share as a couple be alright?

We can’t possibly structure a complete list of the questions that you would have as a couple. That is why the both of you should sit down and draw up your own ground rules. Of course, when you do find the right person to take the number three slot, you must also make them aware of the ground rules before you start. This avoids uncomfortable situations and greatly increases the chances of everybody having a good time.

3. Avoid Sleep Overs

We are certain that neither yourself nor your partner are cold-hearted sex fiends. We can understand how you may not see any issue with allowing the third person to spend the night with the both of you. While some people are very good at compartmentalizing the physical from the sentimental and emotional, not everybody is.

As funny as it may sound, even after spending a night doing the dirtiest and kinkiest things imaginable to each other, the simple act of sleeping over can ruin the night of physical and sexual fun. This is because sleeping over implies tenderness and sentimentality. Hell, some cuddling may even take place. This, in turn, can cause feelings of resentment and jealousy in one — or both — of the steady partners. When a couple enters into a threesome, they do so viewing it with an open mind from the sexual angle. Subconsciously they segregate any emotional element from the equation. That is why, no matter how cool everybody was with it when it was just sex, the moment that something as personally intimate as sleeping over or cuddling becomes involved — trouble could ensue.

4. Give it a Trial Run

Think about it — before you buy a new car, you take it for a test ride. Before you buy clothes, you try them on to see how they fit. Why would something significant as a threesome be any different. We are not suggesting hiring a professional escort or anything. We are referring to exploring the concept of a threesome beyond the conversational stage, but without involving a third person just yet.

During sex, the both of you could verbalize what you would like to do if a third person was present. You can engage in a mutual masturbation session in which all the both of you do is verbalize your threesome fantasies. You can watch adult movies with threesome scenes. You can even engage in “virtual threesomes.” This is when you engage via webcam with a third person as you have sex.

This sort of trial run will serve you two-fold. One, it will make you more comfortable with the idea — it will help to transition you from the realm of fantasy to that of reality. Two, it will also offer you the opportunity to discover questions and doubts that you may have before having a third person present. This will allow you to address them properly and enter into your first threesome with greater confidence.

— Done Right, Three’s Company —

There are many reason for entering into a threesome. It can be to satisfy a mutual curiosity. It can be to expand your sexual frontier. As long as it is entered into by mutual consent and desire of all involved — a threesome will be an extraordinary sexual experience that will usually surpass your wildest expectations. Those that do it right will often remark how they wish that they had done it sooner.

As long you avoid the pitfalls which the above listed tips are meant to curtail, your threesome should be an awesome and memorable occasion.