Whether you are looking for a stable long-term relationship or you’re just out on the prowl for a one-night stand, if you use an online dating or hookup site to find your match, chances are that you’re going to come across a lot of different people before finding the right one.
This isn’t to scare you or dissuade you from online dating. Nobody knows the benefits of using online dating and hookup sites more than us. However, it can be interesting — and at times funny — to think about all of the different personalities that one bumps into while searching for a match.
1. The Self -Loather
This person is easy to identify. Usually, their profile picture will consist of some random selfie that they took of themselves in which little to no care was taken with their appearance. If the dating site permits it, some of these folks won’t even post a profile picture. Instead, some will prefer to post a random avatar or emoji in its place. When you read their description, it will be full of self-deprecating remarks, bleak outlooks about their future — a bastion of meekness and self-pity.
If you happen to engage one of these people in an online chat they will expect you to do all of the chatting. They will keep their part of the conversation limited to one- or two-word answers combined with streams of emojis.
Unless you happen to be one of those people who believe that it is their mission in life to “fix” other people, it is best to move on when you come across a self-loather.
2. The Hyper One
As you browse through the dozens of profiles on your dating site, you’re bound to come across one of those individuals who is simply hyper 24/7. Their profile will describe a whole slew of unconnected activities. At first, they might seem interesting. After all, if you come across a profile that indicates that the person enjoys skydiving, computer programming, cooking, and is also studying to become a certified chipmunk behavioralist — they will grab your attention.
Unfortunately, when you start an online chat with them — or when you go out on a date — you will find it very difficult to keep up with their pace in the conversation. As a matter of fact, being a part of the conversation will be a challenge in and of itself. Usually, these sort of personalities will dominate an online chat or a date. They will take huge 90-degree and 180-degree turns with the topic of discussion every few seconds. While you may try to keep up for the first few minutes, eventually you just give up and nod occasionally to make it seem like you are still part of the exchange.
Unless you happen to be equally hyper, this type of person will probably wear you out before the first conversation is even over.
3. The Perv
Somebody had to say it — we don’t live in a perfect world. Unfortunately, you will come across people who, not only sexualize every conversation and activity that they engage in, but who’s suggestiveness becomes awkward and sometimes downright obscene. Yes, we are talking about the pervs. The sort of people that will take a normal conversation and relentlessly find ways to insert some nasty comment or piece of double entendre.
Depending on your personality, you might find it interesting just to toy with these sorts to see how icky they can become. Conversely, you might just take offense immediately and cut them off before they get rolling. Either way, pervs are one of the most irritating personality types that you will come across in online dating platforms.
4. The Pompous Arrogant Pr*ck/B*tch
Not only does online dating provide a platform to meet interesting people and engage in immediate communication, it also provides a huge venue for the massively arrogant among us to inflate their egos. Some people, usually due to some innate lack of self-esteem, find the opportunity to inflate their image and their accomplishments online to be irresistible.
These folks will insert phony accomplishments in their profile. They will lie about where they went to school, their job position, where they live, their age, their weight — the list is endless.
During online or in-person conversations they will continuously drop names of people who they probably have never met, spin tall tales about what they’ve done and what they can do — even worse — they may start to deride the people immediately around them.
Few will have the patience for these sort of individuals. If you come across such an arrogant and pompous waste of oxygen, we suggest you disengage as soon as possible.
5. The Clown
While laughter is the best medicine, never forget that too much medicine can lead to an overdose. Most of us would enjoy spending time with a person that has a good sense of humor and who is able to insert witty comments when appropriate.
Unfortunately, there are many people on dating sites who believe themselves to be urbane humorists when in reality they come off as third-rate Vegas lounge comedians. They will try to be funny every chance they get. It becomes a near impossibility to sustain any sort of serious conversation with these people.
6. The Indifferent One
You would figure if somebody pays good money to join a dating site, they will be eager to engage in interactive conversation. That they would try their best to display interest in a common topic. However, every day, we are surprised by the large number of indifferent personalities that can be found on dating sites. Internally, we refer to these people as the “whatever folk.”
No matter what you are talking about, no matter how long you expand upon the subject, their most common response will be, “whatever.”
If you reach the point where you are planning a face-to-face meeting, when it comes time to suggest a time and place, your suggestions will be met with, “whatever.”
From our point of view, these whatever types can go whatever themselves.
— Don’t Run Away —
If after reading this you are smiling right now, chances are that you have personally bumped into one or several of the personality types that we described above. If that is the case, you should also be aware that these personality types should not be a reason to avoid online dating. If anything, they can be seen as a sort of amusement — the subject for a funny story that you can share when you finally do meet the right person online.