You work hard. There is nothing more gratifying than enjoying a well-earned vacation after working yourself to the bone the rest of the year. Whether you decide to spend some time on a beach, in the mountains, exploring a new city — any destination that suits your fancy is going to offer you a wealth of opportunities to relax, have some fun, and get laid.
Okay, maybe some of you are saying, “get laid? My vacations usually don’t go so well.” If that is the case with you, stop fretting. When the time comes for you to take your next vacation we will have you primed and ready for action.
We realize that even if you never have problems finding action at home, doing so while on vacation can be a bit of a challenge. Unfamiliar surroundings, not knowing which places to visit for hooking up, and if you happen to be vacationing overseas, the language barrier — all of these things can really affect your game. Then there is the ever-present problem of not always being ready for every occasion or opportunity that comes your way. No, we’re not talking about not having condoms ready. Gee, son, you can buy those at any drug store in the world. We are talking about your sense of style, fashion… your clothes.
When it comes to getting laid, be it at home or while away, being flexible enough to “fit in” in a variety of situations will greatly improve your chances of scoring. This is especially true when you are on vacation. Nobody has to know that you are an assistant manager at your local Red Lobster back home. On vacation, you can be anyone you want to be. You can be the adventurer, the man of mystery, the jet setter — it is the perfect moment to let the clothes make the man.
You might be thinking, “how the hell am I gonna take all of the clothes that I would need for something like this?”
We hear you. We know full well that long gone are the days when men would travel with ample changes of clothes for a wide variety of social occasions. Nowadays, we all try to cram everything we need for a two-week getaway into a single carry-on bag to avoid excess luggage fees. Thanks airline industry!
In spite of the hassles of modern travel, however, there is still a way. The secret is to pack clothing which can transform from casual to semi-formal in the blink of an eye. In other words, it’s not a question of bringing steamer trunks full of clothes that your personal valet would personally sponge and press for you each morning. Rather, it is an issue of making sure that the few articles of clothing that you do bring coordinate in such a way that by mixing and matching you will be ready for any type of scene.
This is why we put together the following collection of wardrobe tips for getting laid while on vacation. Before you pack your bags and hop on that plane, make sure to check them out. We trust that you will put them to good use wherever you decide to go.
1- Bring a Good Pair of Jeans
We mean a GOOD pair of jeans. They do not have to be designer jeans but, please, NO butt crack exposing baggy nightmares, NO torn and dilapidated hobo jeans. A nice pair of well fitting jeans that your mom would be proud to see you in can offer you a wealth of flexibility.
2- Bring a pair of Dress Shoes
When going on vacation you should bring with you a pair of leisure shoes. These can be sneakers, comfy shoes, whatever you consider to be your “daily driver” of shoes. Make sure to pack these in your bag along with a pair of sandals or thongs.
You should travel wearing your dressier shoes. These don’t have to be wing-tipped oxfords, but a pair of shoes that qualify as suitable for dressy occasions will do. The reason for wearing them and not packing them is that this will protect them. If you are packing lightly and scrunching things tightly in your bag, better your sneakers get crunched and not your dress shoes. When you get to your destination you can take them off, give them a quick polish if needed, and leave them on stand by in case a dressy situation arises.
Trust us, if you meet a hot chick and want to take her out for dinner, showing up in your sneakers is not going to advance your chances of getting laid that night.
3- Bring a Blazer or Sportscoat
We realize that this sounds like a real hassle. After all, where are you going to squeeze in a blazer in your backpack, right?
Similar to the dress shoes, if you are packing light, wear the blazer while you travel. It will arrive in much better shape than if you crammed it in a bag. Besides, any wrinkles that developed en route can be taken out by steaming up the shower while the blazer is hanging in the bathroom. It can also be pressed at your destination. Remember, pressing, not dry cleaning. That way they can have it for you within an hour and at a much lower cost.
Combined with your dress shoes and good jeans, you now have a dressy casual to semi-formal option at your disposal.
4- Bring a Belt
A belt doesn’t take up any space. Make sure it is a dress belt that matches the color of your dress shoes. It will really help to “formalize” your good jeans when worn with the dress shoes.
5- Bring at Least One Dress Shirt
Much as with the dress shoes, we use the term “dress” shirt to be inclusive. We are not suggesting you bring a button-down, white, starched shirt that you would wear to an interview at IBM if it were 1962. A comfortable, long-sleeve shirt in a neutral color, no prints, will do the trick. Make sure its weight is suitable for the season and climate that you will be visiting.
This type of shirt will give you the casual look if worn with the sleeves rolled up but will look snazzy when tucked in and the sleeves worn as normal. The perfect accompaniment to the blazer.
Looking Good Gets You Laid, Looking Sloppy Gets You Nothing
You see, by wisely choosing just five items to bring on your vacation in addition to your usual junk, you will be ready to meet the ladies wherever they may be. From the beach to the club, from a casual outdoor cafe to a fancy restaurant. You will be “the man.” The one who will cause the women to turn around and make them want to choose you as the guy with whom they will make a hot vacation memory.