We know — you’ve been together for a few months. Sure, you’ve hit some rough patches, but what couple doesn’t, right?
While such a situation can describe the maturation phase of a relationship with potential — it can also be one of the initial warning signs that she’s just no good for you, man. Society conditions us to believe that men would never stick around in a bad relationship — that men do not let themselves be victimized. The cold reality is that men do take a lot of crap from partners that do not deserve them.
The reasons for this are plenty. Maybe she’s hot — “I’m not gonna find anyone that looks like that to pay attention to me again,” you might tell yourself. Perhaps you’re at that age when all of your friends are settling down and you simply fear loneliness. You may even convince yourself that you deserve the hardship that she dishes out — some weird sort of relationship karma.
If that sounds like you — please sit down, grab a beer or pour yourself something stronger and read-on as we attempt to open your eyes to another reality of life — some women are simply no good for you. That’s right, we said it — it’s not always your fault.
Here are nine warning signs that she’s no good for you.
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1. Tight Leash
If she keeps you on a very tight leash, that could be indicative of deeper insecurities lurking within her. While some degree of jealousy is normal, when it prompts her to monitor your calls and texts; when it causes her to grill you about where you’ve been when all you did was go to the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee — then you know that things are only going to get worse further down the road. We would strongly urge you to eject from such a relationship ASAP. Sticking around will only cause you to crash and burn.
2. Displaces Blame
Sure, sometimes you will be at fault. There will be things that you caused to go wrong — that’s normal for any relationship. If, however, you’re with a woman that never assumes fault for anything in the relationship, herself. When everything — including why she’s developing premature crow’s feet — is somehow your fault, then you have a serious issue to contend with. If she is unable to assume blame when she is in the wrong and cannot be contrite — get out of there, dude!
3. Two Ships Heading in Different Directions
There are times when you will meet a woman and hit it off instantly. Everything just seems to click. For the first couple of weeks, the both of you are caught up in a whirlwind of fun and pleasure. You may even begin to say to yourself, “I think that she may be the one.” After a few more weeks of seeing each other, however, you notice that it’s becoming an ever increasing struggle to keep the “fun” in the relationship.
In cases such as these, it’s not that she’s a bad person, you are simply not compatible with each other. Maybe she’s seeking someone more grounded, while you’re at a point in your life when you want to explore life and different career opportunities. You are simply “two ships that passed in the night” as the old saying goes. You are heading in different directions in your respective lives. Forcing yourself to change course will only run you aground on the rocks of misery. She’s not a bad person, she’s just not good for you — move on.
4. Constantly Mentioning Her Ex
This is about as bad a sign as looking out the window of the plane you’re flying in and seeing the wing on fire. When a woman mentions any of her exes repeatedly that means that she really isn’t over them yet. If that sounds all too familiar, check your driver’s license, make certain that your name hasn’t been changed to Mr. Rebound Guy.
5. Constantly Puts You Down
Put downs can be really hurtful. Being on the receiving end of them can really impact your self-confidence. If she is always putting you down — in private and in public — that demonstrates a flagrant disregard for your feelings. It could also be a sign of serious self-esteem issues on her part. Regardless, nobody ever deserves to be constantly put down. If that has become part of your daily existence, she’s definitely not for you.
6. Treats Your Friends and Family Like $#!&
In rare cases, your friends and family may genuinely be disagreeable folks. In such cases, your lady may want to keep some distance from them. Up to that stage, it can be understandable. If however, she tries to keep you from your friends and family even though you want to stay in contact, or if she actively seeks out to insult them and make them uncomfortable — that’s a whole different story.
A partner that actively wants to isolate you from your friends and family wants to dominate the relationship. Eventually, she will want to control other elements of your life. Do yourself a favor, if this accurately describes your lady — leave.
7. You Feel Relief When Away From Her
If when you’re away from her you feel relaxed and stress-free, that could be an indication that things aren’t meant to be for the both of you. While it’s normal to appreciate moments to ourselves, feeling relief that you are away from your lady — coupled with feelings of stress and depression when you are around her — is a clear sign of incompatibility. You need to be with a woman that brings joy to your heart whenever you’re with her. A woman that causes your own subconscious to rebel against her is not good for you.
8. All First Contact Come From You
In our modern world, communicating with our partners is easier than ever. It’s not like you have to go to the local telegraph office and send a telegram. Phone calls and texts can be sent at any given moment from practically anywhere. If you find that in spite of this ease and speed of communication you are always the one that has to make first contact — take a breath before you send her another text and ask yourself, “why doesn’t she ever call or text me?”
Mind you, some leeway must be given if her job demands communication silence, but if she behaves the same way even she’s on her own time, then she doesn’t see you as a priority. She is taking you for granted knowing that you will be there. She doesn’t value you enough to make an effort to contact you. If she doesn’t value you — she doesn’t deserve you.
9. The Givens
There are also some more obvious signs that a woman is not good for you. If your lady is cheating on you, stealing from you, threatening you with violence, or if her presence in your life has created a non-stop stream of arguments and drama — those circumstances should not require an explanation from us as to why you should hit the road.
— Wrapping Things Up With a Cliche —
Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea. (You were warned about the impending cliche)
Never feel obligated to stay in a relationship that is turning toxic, loveless or unfulfilling. If she’s not good for you and you waste time trying to make things work, guess what? You are wasting valuable time that could be dedicated to finding the woman that IS GOOD for you. Another blog post that might help shed light on your situation is “8 Signs Your Relationship is Toxic“.