Who Should Pay for a First Date?

I realize that my question might sound a little broad. I understand that traditionally men would always pay for a date. I’m a 27-year-old single woman, I consider myself neither a traditionalist nor a radical feminist. The reason I ask the question is that I have had a few awkward instances when there was some confusion as to who was going to pay for the date. I always take enough money to cover my portion of any date as well as additional funds to cover my transportation home, just in case. I would just like to know if there is a way to be able to bring up the topic before the date even starts so as to avoid any awkwardness. I hope I haven’t made this too confusing.

who should pay on a date

Don’t worry, your question is not confusing at all, we understand what you are trying to say. First dates are tense and anxious affairs all on their own. When you begin to add additional variables, such as uncertainty about who will pay, it is easy for a first date to become more frustrating than it should be.

Ideally, a first date should be a time for two people to be able to get to know each other, to enjoy each other’s conversation, to gauge each other’s personality. This is why it is best to structure the first date beforehand to help alleviate some of those first date jitters.

This means that once the both of you have agreed to meet in person, it is not a bad idea to pose the question of who is going to pay. Of course, you want to be diplomatic about it. A good way to do this is by simply voicing a summation of the date. An example of this would be to say or write, “okay, so we’ll meet at so-and-so restaurant at 7 p.m. on Friday and we’ll go dutch.”

By casually inserting the fact that you will be splitting the bill, this should allow your suitor to either verify that fact or to respond immediately by stating that it will be his treat. At that point, you have the option of accepting the that he will pay or insisting on splitting the bill. That will be entirely your call.

With regards as to who should pay, as you yourself mentioned, that is a very personal choice. It depends a lot on the two personalities that are involved. Just focus on getting that out of the way before the date starts to minimize awkwardness.